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Semi-Pro

Comparison:

  • R-Rated
  • Unrated
Release: Oct 21, 2008 - Author: Muck47 - Translator: enemy - external link: IMDB
Comparison between the theatrical version and the Unrated "Let's Get Sweaty" Edition (both represented by the US-DVDs)



- Theatrical version / R-rated: 86:25 min without end credits (91:23 min with end credits) in NTSC

- Unrated: 93:30 min without end credits (98:28 min with end credits) in NTSC

- 29 changes, in detail:
* 14x alternate material
* 1x theatrical version only material
* 1x changed background music

It is intentionally spoken of changes- not cuts. Some recut or here and there slightly extended scenes have been summarized to one change. If counted differently one might count more differences.

- cut duration: 424,1 sec (7:04 min)



The movie


"Semi-Pro" takes us back to the 70's once again where Will Ferrell portrays popstar Jackie Moon who makes a dream of his come true by buying his own basketball team in Flint, Michigan. Too bad that except of audience's favorite Clarence (played by Outkast's André Benjamin) the team lacks talented players and so Jackie focuses on pointless marketing strategies like the wrestling against a bear rather than helping the team by training them.
But with ex-NBA-player Monix (Woody Harrelson) a fresh breeze enters the game who gives the team a direction and still regrets the split with his local ex-girlfriend (Maura Tierney, "Emergency Room", "Liar Liar" etc.)

So the cast is rather famous but I'm sure some people will avoid this movie only because of the nicely posing main actor seen at the top of this report. The story has potential even though one shouldn't expect too much originality. The result, however, is much less filled with jokes than expected. Fans should be pleased anyways.


The extended version


The movie opened in US-theaters in February 2008 and had a DVD release in June - of course in two versions. On BluRay only the "Let's Get Sweaty"-Unrated-Edition has been released.

Aside from more or less unimportant story extensions the main difference is the character of Staci Moon, a textbook example of a party slut that never misses a chance to make out with other men before the eyes of her husband. The theatrical version completely drops the fact that Jackie even has a wife.
Because of this extensions the use of the term "unrated version" is kind of justified, also here and there we see more nudity than we did in theaters. But even this version was pretty juice, after all in its theatrical version this comedy was already rated R.


Time specifications are in the following order:
Theatrical version in NTSC (Unrated version in NTSC)
The Unrated-DVD has one more sec of black screen at the beginning.



Alternate material
06:03-06:09 [US-DVD theatrical version NTSC] (06:04-07:32) [US-DVD unrated version NTSC]

Clarence's (André Benjamin) introduction is more elaborate in the unrated version (UV).

In the theatrical version (TV) Clarence enters immediately. The anouncer Bobby says:
"All right, fans, let's hear it for 'Downtown Funky Stuff' Malone!" (with the last word Bobby is on screen again)
He enters with a lollipop in his mouth, the fans cheer.


The UV starts with a television. A commercial with Clarence is on.
"Hey, so don't get all lonely on me now, people. Come on down to Pet Galaxy."
A rocket flies across the frame and the logo appears.
After a shot of a fish in a bowl Clarence is back on the ad. He says: "So you make sure you tell 'em...Sweet Sugar Dunkerton sent ya." He then dunks in the store the commercial takes place.

The camera pulls out and we see him in waiter clothes at work.
Customers start recognizing him: "Hey, wasn't that just you? There on TV?"
Clarence, proud: "You like that, don't you? That's cool, huh?"
Customer: "Hey, the TV say your name was Sugar Dunkinton. How come your nametag don't say that?"
Clarence: "'Cause I changed it."
The other customer reads: "'Downtown Funky Stuff' Malone."


Another customer looks at him. His mother yells from the back: "Clarence!"
Clarence proudly repeats: "'Downtown'"
Mother: "I ain't never named no son of mine no 'Downtown'."
Clarence: "Well, you know what? I can't hear a damn thing you sayin'."
Mother: "Mm-hm. Ever heard of a clock? It's 7:15."
Clarence realizes he's late: "Shit!"
He runs outside and gets his car which has a pro-meateating message on the back.

At the gym Bobby reads: "OK, Tropics fans, it's time to guess today's attendance. Is it A: 7:254...B: 8:506...or C: 0:91?"
Meanwhile the nets score again.

Now Clarence enters just like in the TV with lollipop sticking out of his mouth. We cut to the cheering audience, than back to Bobby.
However his phrase ("All right, fans, let's hear it for 'Downtown Funky Stuff' Malone!") starts much later and thus alternate shots of Clarence's entrance have been used.


Unrated is 81,8 sec longer




Alternate material
06:11-06:18 (07:34-07:37)

In the TV we see Clarence's mother on the tribune, she applauds wildly and proudly tells the woman next to her: "That's my son!"


But since in the UV his mother was at home moments ago she isn't at the game.
There's an alternate shot of someone talking to the referee: "Father Pat, that guy's gotta check in the game, all right?"
He gestures and calms him down: "I got it, I got it."


Theatrical version is 4 sec longer




Alternate material
07:40-07:47 (08:59-09:10)

After asking the candidate Dukes about his current occupation ("Nothing...") it continues differently.

In the TV the shot continues, Jackie responds: "OK. Layin' low."
He holds the mic back to Dukes who just laughs stupid and then cheers to the crowd.
Jackie: "Dukes is excited! So am I."


The UV has a closer shot of Jackie: "Layin' low. Playin' it right."
We see the check and Jackie says: "What are you gonna do with all that money if you win? Maybe buy a shirt?"
Dukes needs a moment to understand and says: "Yeah, man, a shirt. Ha ha!" and he cheers.
Jackie says in the same shot: "Dukes is excited! So am I."
(the TV shows the last second of that shot after the comment.)


Unrated is 3,7 sec longer




09:43 (11:06-11:16)

In the TV Jackie after leaving the car is in the club instantly. In the UV he walks over and talks to somebody.

The guy says from a distance: "Hey, Jackie."
Jackie: "Gerard."
Gerard: "How are the knees doing?"
Jackie: "Feeling great."
Gerard: "Excellent."
Jackie: "Are you drunk?
Gerard: "Very."
Both laugh.

10,4 sec




Alternate material
09:59-10:07 (11:32-11:48)

In the UV the DJ complains about Jackie putting his own record on.


Theatrical version

The guy dances before the record stops. We see Jackie putting on his own song.


Unrated version

More distant shot of the guy dancing. We hear Jackie saying: "Hey, DJ! Where's the boogie?"
The pissed off DJ: "I already played your song four times!"
Jackie: "Paul, get out."
As the DJ tries to defend his position Jackie already came up to him and stopped the record..
DJ: "Jackie, you can't keep doing this. I'm the DJ!
Jackie: "You gotta play it more than four times. You know the rules. You're on snack patrol. Go."
The DJ leaves and Jackie keeps messing with the turntables (the TV sets back in when the song starts this shot).


Unrated is 8,2 sec longer




Alternate material
10:11-10:27 (11:52-12:16)

Jackie talks differntly to the crowd. In the UV it's also longer.


Theatrical version

We immediately cut to a view over the shoulder and now face the crowd. Jackie: "Look at you, I love it. I swear, if this Plexiglass wasn't dividing us right now... I'd make sweet, tender, slow, hot love... to each one of you, that's a guarantee."
The crowd cheers briefly.


Unrated version

The camera stays on Jackie as he says "Look at you". Then we cut to the view over the shoulder.
The rest of his speech differs: "I swear, if this Plexiglass wasn't dividing us right now... I'd make sweet, tender love to each and every one of you, guys included!"
The crowd cheers and Jackie adds: "Let me see a show of hands. Who's got their funky passport on 'em?"
A lot of hands move up. Jackie again: "Yeah. That's what I thought. 'Cause we're about to enter the nation of gyration. You're goin' on snack patrol, Paul."
He points at the DJ who stands in a corner looking annoyed.


Unrated is 7,8 sec longer




10:32 (12:21-13:19)

There's a missing conversation between Jackie and Clarence's mother. Here we see Jackie's very unfaithful wife for the first time. And we see that Jackie doesn't seem to be the ladie's man he'd like to be.

Mother: "I like it, Jackie, I like it, yeah! But you know what? That wife of yours has been making out...with that Mark Spitz-looking motherfucker all night!"
And that's just what we see then, Jackie's wife is even nude.
Jackie: "Yeah, that's OK. Stace and I have an open relationship."
Mother: "Yeah, I know that, but look, Jackie - he's about to suck on her damn titties right here in front of all of these people!"
Jackie looks helpless to her and then says: "Well, she's hot, right? I mean, we're freedom lovers."
He repeatedly yells "Hey!" in her direction and tries to talk his way out of it as she doesn't react: "She's great. I'm not jealous! I mean, it's a great deal for both of us."
Mother: "Yeah, but have you ever slept with another woman?"
Jackie: "I could. I mean, that's the beauty of it. No ball and chain here. And say I get asked to come to an orgy, right? I just do it."
The mother only laughs about it and asks: "Jackie, ha ha, wait a minute, have you ever been to an orgy?"
Jackie: "Are you crazy? I just got back from an orgy. Some guy named Steve's house. I'm exhausted. I mean, my wiener said to me 'Jackie, l've had enough of this orgy. Put me back in your underwear.'"

58 sec




Alternate material
11:12-11:13 (13:59-14:08)

Here te alternate material only consistes of a different shot of Clarence and Bee Bee, the latter says the same thing in both versions. ("Right").

Theatrical versionUnrated


But prior to that only the UV contains more dialogue after Jackie's "This time I'm telling the truth".

Clarence seems to mistrust him and claims: "Put it on Scootsie's Bible."
Jackie looks anxious as Scootsie already passes the Bible; "There you go, just touch it."
Jackie: "No, I'll do you even one better. Look me in the eyes. OK?"


Unrated is 8,2 sec longer




19:42 (22:37-22:39)

This shot is a little longer, Monix (Woody Harrelson) asks "Why does your boyfriend like me so much?"

2 sec




25:01-26:02 (27:58-29:02)

Different background music is audible in both versions as the guys sit on the bus.
In the TV it's the funk song "Mr. Big Stuff". In the UV it's "Short People", Jackie sings along the whole time.

This also was a reason for the following changes, the pace has been adjusted to the new song.




25:02 (27:59-28:01)

The bus starts driving a little far more back.

1,6 sec




25:06 (28:05-28:12)

Also the camera moving through the bus starts a little earlier in the UV.

7,6 sec




Alternate material
25:10-25:15 (28:16-28:58)

Here the camera panning through the bus is longer in the TV.


However, in the UV Jackie sings along loudly to the song and throws in comments like "I hate 'em" towards the short people.
He mentions Scootsie as an example and laughs. Scootsie doesn't think it's funny.

The italic lines are the coments aside from the song lyrics Jackie throws in.

"Short people got no reason...Short people got no reason to live. Come on, everyone! Yeah! What do they got, Bobby? They got little hands. Yeah, little hands. Little eyes. Walk around telling great big lies. Great big lies. They got little noses. And tiny little teeth. Tiny little teeth! Platform shoes on their nasty little feet. Well, I don't want no short people. Let's go, Tropics! I hate 'em. I don't want no short people! I don't want no short people. I'm talking about you, Scootsie! I'm just kidding, man, you're not that short. You're the best. I'm exaggerating."


Unrated is 37 sec longer




Alternate material
25:24-25:26 (29:07-29:58)

In the TV the shot starts out a little earlier and we already see Twiggy saying "Hey, Monix".


In the UV the cam pans around and we see a car with several women inside driving next to the bus.
Bee Bee: "Hey, Jackie, it's your wife!"
Jackie, insecure: "Hey, Staci! Hey, honey!"
Now Staci stands up inside the car, opens her top and presents her breasts.
The team members turn towards Jackie, flabbergasted. Jackie tries to make the best out of the situation; "My God, would you look at those?"
The guys are happy to do so and look outside the window, cheering.
Jackie, with a desperate look on his face: "Bye, baby, I love you."


Bee Bee asks: "Say, Jackie, have you ever even slept with your wife, man?"
Jackie: "Are you kidding me? Come on. Yeah, like every weekend. And it's hot!"
Bee Bee: "Yeah, I believe you. I believe you lying. Ha ha ha!"
He high-fives with Twiggy. Clarence and the others are amused as well.
Jackie turns around and looks clueless and pissed.


Unrated is 48,8 sec longer




Alternate material
27:00-27:02 (31:32-31:39)

The shot after the score board starts earlier in the TV: Monix takes the ball and Jackie starts to run in the background.


The UV first shows Jackie with the ball. He waves to the audience where his wife is sitting in the arms of two men. She waves back.

Also only the UV has the proper comment of the sportscasters in the seconds following: "Jackie Moon waving to the fans as he makes his way down the court."


Unrated is 4,2 sec longer




28:35 (33:12-33:13)

The shot of the referee (Pat) saying "You've got a lot of demons yourself" toward the leaving sportscaster starts earlier.

1,4 sec




Alternate material
28:37-28:47 (33:15-33:22)

The leaving of the second sportscaster (Dick) is different.

Strangely the line of Pat in the two seconds before has been changed even though the picture material is the same.
In the TV he says "Thank you, Dick, for staying.", in the UV "Thank you for staying, Dick."
After that the alternate material starts:


Theatrical version

Pat walks a little further and listens to the sportscaster; "And that will do it from St. Louis, where the score is inconclusive. Good night."
Right after that he takes off his headset and gets up.
Pat desperately tries to get him to stay but he just gets a "That's it" from Dick.
Pat says in the same shot "We go to church together."


Unrated

Closer shot of Pat, the sportscaster is in the background, saying: "No, I am leaving. I've thrown to commercial. I have to be back in about 30 seconds or so but this is symbolic."
Pat says to Dick as he's leaving: "We go to church together."


Theatrical version is 2,9 sec longer




Extended material in theatrical version
28:49-28:50 (33:24)

Only in the TV Dicks walk through the hall is longer.

+ 0,8 sec




Alternate material
33:30-34:40 (38:04-40:02)

Here's a majaor difference: after the first half a lot of the meeting goes different.
In the TV the guys cheer at each other and philosophize a bit; in the UV Jackie's wife enters nacked to motivate the players.


Theatrical version

The team comes cheering into the locker room, only Monix doesn't seem to be in a euphoric mood.
Jackie says: "Now, that is how you play basketball."
As Clarence and the others cheer Monix just looks mad.
Jackie: "You hear those fans? They loved it!"
Bee Bee: "Monix, you got Petrelli's ass!"
Jackie: "I mean, I was out there grabbin' balls. I think I grabbed some of your guys' balls."
Scootsie: "That was you on my nuts? You got the softest hands in the world."
Everyone's laughing. Then Jackie reveals his plan: "All right, this is what we do. Tae kwon do sessions every practice. In fact, we don't need..."
After standing up and kicking the garbage can over Monix says: "Does anybody here wanna talk about the fucking game?"
Jackie whispers: "God, this guy's a bummer."
Monix: "Did anyone look at the scoreboard? How about we run some plays in the second half, Jackie?"
Jackie: "Look, Monix, I'm not an X's and O's guy, right? I'm not a tactician. I'm a motivator in the classic sense of the word. You know, Lombardi, Charles Lindbergh...that nun over in India, like those people. I get people to do great things! And we just had an incredible, team-unifying moment...by punching other guys in the face. And it felt good..."
We see the Clarence and Bee Bee agreeing, then back to Jackie; "...and now we're gonna continue that on the court in the second half...with baskets, though."


Unrated

Here the mood is different from the beginning. Twiggy spins the ball, Jackie says with a serious face: "Scoreboard's not looking good, guys. Think it's time for us to make some serious adjustments."
Bobby enters and passes the chalk; "Here's the chalk, Coach."
Jackie breaks it in two pieces and furiously throws them at the black bord; "That's right. That's how frustrated I am. OK? I can stand here and I can talk X's and O's all day long...but this is about something else. We're not playing Tropical. We're playing tight. I mean, if we just open up our hearts and let our passion come out we can do anything."
The players look either shocked or confused.
Jackie: "You ready? Now, my wife has volunteered to bring our passion out. Hello, lady luck, let negative static be gone."
As the players look pretty stunned Jackie's hardly dressed up wife enters after Jackie started to play "Love Me Sexy" on the little cassette recorder.
She takes her top off, Jackie says: "Already a different locker room."
Staci schnoozes Scootsie who just says: "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife."
Jackie dances a little as she walks by him and says to himself: "This is the best idea I've ever had."


Staci goes to Twiggy and says: "Oh, Twiggy, welcome to the big city."
As she rubs her breast on his face he just mumbles "Jackie, I don't--I don't know about this, Jackie".
Staci goes on to Clarence, calls him by his nickname "Downtown" and - to fit the name - goes down on him.
Clarence: "Yeah, you can call me Downtown."
Jackie is stoked about this: "Pep talk! All right. What team's in a rut now? Not the Tropics anymore, no sirree. We got strong..."
Monix furiously got up and kicked the cassette recorder off the chair, hence the music stopped.
Jackie: "Jesus, this guy's a bummer."
Monix: "Does anybody here wanna talk about the fucking game?"
Jackie: "Hey. Watch your language. Not in front of my wife.
Monix, embarrassed: "Uh, sorry, Mrs. Moon."
Jackie: "Come on, man. Trying to bring the love into the room and all you do is complain. My wife is standing here naked. What more do you want me to do?"
Monix: "Listen, Jackie, th--there is no shortcut to winning."
We see Bee and Clarence as an ashamed Scootsie passes the top to Staci.
Monix: "You can't buy it, you can't pray for it...and you can't stare at your wife's ass and start hitting three-pointers."


Unrated is 48 sec longer




37:19 (42:41-42:53)

More dialogue between Monix and Lynn after the sentence "It was the high point of your career."

Monix: "Riding the bench?"
Lynn: "You didn't just ride the bench. Who did the Celtics practice against?"
Monix: "Second stringers."
Lynn: "Second stringers and every day you pushed your team to the limit. I know, I was there, I was the one working on your stupid knee."

12,5 sec




Alternate material
41:05-41:10 (46:39-47:09)

In the UV it takes longer until Jackie passes his leading position and whistle, respectivly to Monix.


In the TV he just sighs ("Ok"), takes off the band and passes to whistle to Monix - after that the meeting continues.


In the UV there's another shot in which he hesitates a moment. The passing happens in a different shot. While two high-five in the background over the passing Jackie says, sniveling: "Careful, don't blow too hard at first 'cause it'll give a high-pitched squeak. You just wanna blow easy. And once she starts responding then you can--you can let it fly."
Monix thanks a little hesitatingly and wants to hug him but due to Jackie's costume it's not that easy.
Monix looks at him, a little perplex, but the he whistles and says "All right, let's practice, guys!"


Unrated is 24,6 sec longer




48:03-48:04 (54:02-54:14)

And again Jackie's wife does appear in the UV.

In the TV there'a a transition from the pictures of the players to the training on the field.


The UV shows more of the album and another picture of Clarence.
We then see a big score board that says "Jackie Moon's wife rides the bull" and as the camera pulls out that's just what's happening in the crowded hall.
Jackie stands behind her and says insecure: "Great job, honey! Looking great! God, she's beautiful."
Then there's the transition to the training.


Unrated is 11,3 sec longer




55:47 (61:57-62:01)

After the hint "It's trained and everything" by Clarence the UV shows the bear again.

Next to him stands an animal tamer and says with a soft voice "Who's a good bear?"
Dann she takes the whip and adds: "Who used to live in the woods?"

3,6 sec




56:43 (62:57-63:04)

Again we see the bear, he basically waves aside.
Jackie talks to the woman: "I like your top hat, though."
She's glad about that and explains: "Thanks. It was normal size but I put it in the dryer."

6,9 sec




57:01 (63:22-63:24)

After the shocked audience the UV shows the tamer again, who helplessly waves about.

1,9 sec




Alternate material
61:17-61:19 (67:40-67:42)

Since the TV doesn't has Jackies wife in it a part of his speech has been changed cleverly.

While the shot of Jackie is one single shot in the UV the TV cuts to Bee Bee and Twiggy. During those two seconds (marked italic) Jackie's words differ;

Theatrical Version
"That song bought me this franchise and everything I have in the world...but it's all fake!"

Unrated
"That song bought me this franchise and the hottest wife in the world...but it's all fake!"

no time difference

Theatrical versionUnrated




65:49 (72:12-72:36)

It takes Monix more to get Jackie out of the garbage container. Jackie falls into his arms rather clumsy.

Jackie: "I just live in a world of urine and pancakes, you know?"
Monix: "Kinda smells that way."
Jackie: "Yeah."
Monix: "You smell good."
Jackie: "Thank you."
Monix: "Watch when you roll over."

24 sec




Alternate material
77:05-77:15 (83:52-84:07)

Strange change: alternate shots of Clarence running in slow motion and passing the ball to Jackie.

Only in the TV Clarence waves to the fans as he approaches from the back, then we cut to a closer shot of him. Here he fits to Jackie.

In the UV he doesn't wave, the shot has been extended and Clarence does some dribbling. From this shot we see the pass, then we cut to the shot from the TV as the opponent ran across the screen.

Unrated is 4,4 sec longer

Theatrical versionUnrated




84:01 (90:53-91:06)

And again Jackie's wife appears in the UV and gets what she deserves (after Vakidis congratulated Jackie).

Jackie: "Staci!"
Staci: "Kiss me, my hero!"
Jackie: "I--I--I can't, my mom said your vagina's for sad people. But we won the Megabowl! Whoo!"

He cheers and walks away, the following shot of the cheering team starts a litle earlier.
13,9 sec