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Mallrats

Comparison:

  • US TV Version
  • Theatrical Version
Release: Jan 14, 2021 - Author: Muck47 - Translator: Mike Lowrey - external link: IMDB

Comparison between the censored US TV version and the Theatrical Version (both included on Arrow Video's US Blu-ray).


206 differences, including:
* 124 alternative dialogs
* 58 cuts compared to the Theatrical Version with a duration of 565.4 sec (= 9:25 min)
* 14x additional material in the TV version with a duration of 223.2 sec (= 3:43 min)
* 12x alternative course
* 10 zoomed scenes
* 2 re-cuts

Versions and releases of MALLRATS

In 1994, Kevin Smith landed a surprise hit with the very low budget flick Clerks, and Mallrats, which followed a year later, was the typical bust. The massive budget increase by Universal spin-off Gramercy Pictures led to a number of studio interventions, so that the marketing campaign raised false hopes and the somewhat half-baked film flopped drastically at the box office. At least the home video numbers were better and especially in the long run, the title made up for a lot here.

Nevertheless, the weak box office takings and some scathing criticism gnawed at Smith, who initially even apologized for the result to his indie fan community. After all, 10 years later he was able to hand over an extremely different extended cut with 100 differences and 40 additional minutes. In the meantime, however, the director has also made peace with his work, which has even become a frequent favorite among fans over the years.

In October 2020, the collector's label Arrow Video released a new 2-disc Blu-ray edition in the U.S., which, as is so often the case with Arrow, is clearly the ultimate option for fans. Theatrical Version and Extended Cut are available in new 4K restorations that easily outperform the old Blu-ray master in terms of quality. In addition to more exclusive bonus material, disc 2 also features a US TV version that really packs a punch.

In the action department, the Paul Verhoeven classics Total Recall (see comparison) and RoboCop (see comparison), among others, are good examples of what such versions can do for prudish TV in America. In addition to sometimes curious-creative dialogue censorship, one often encounters small moments of exclusive material that are missing from all other versions. It's a similar situation here, and it often takes on delightfully weird proportions.

Smith has recorded a small video message for the Arrow release. Here, he emphasizes that he was not really creatively involved in the creation of this version, but because of the theatrical failure, he was happy to help create it out of a guilty conscience. In 1998, the broadcast was promoted by the ABC network with Ben Affleck's fresh success in Armageddon, but Smith highlights another circumstance above all in his preface. Jason Mewes, the actor who plays Jay, had another period of heavy drug use during the making of the TV version, and so he missed his dubbing sessions. While the other actors can be heard with their original voices, someone with a distinctively different voice was used for him. For Smith, this is virtually the perfect example of an anti-drug campaign, which he uses to tease Mewes, who is otherwise often praised for his acting performance in Mallrats, even years later. A small detail, of course, not shown in our report, which may give fans another chuckle when viewing this hair-raising bonus version.

The creative trivializations for US television in detail

In contrast to the aforementioned Verhoeven films, you won't find any violence in Mallrats, of course, but there really is some kind of crude language used every few seconds. Accordingly, pure dialog censorship has been done in well over 100 places. It must also be said that we have already summarized many short successive sentences under "one" place each, as it made sense for the scene. In any case, this is where the primary fun, if you want to see it that way, lies in the American TV adaptation. In addition to conventional alternatives like "forget" for "fuck" or "stuff" for "shit", some people came up with fascinating ideas about how the often-quoted dialogues suddenly run in a variant that is completely alienated from their intended meaning in their youth-friendly form. Silent Bob's mother's vibrator becomes a blender, Tricia only speaks to men instead of sleeping with them, or the Sperminator becomes a conventional Terminator. It's quite exciting which phonetically similar words were chosen for the same footage during the subsequent dubbing.

Beyond that, however, some scenes were too much and hardly replaceable in context. The majority of the cuts therefore also fall on longer stories or simply crude little gags, such as the "cum laude 69 / come loud in a 69" pun. Brodie, in particular, naturally gets talkative more often and thus has significantly less screentime overall in the TV version.

Interesting for completists is what exclusive additional material can be discovered in the TV version. A few scenes are already known from the extended cut, so that they (like the other, matching material) could be incorporated from the good 4K master. But right at the beginning, for example, only here is a Superman allusion in a new conversation between T.S. and Brandi. Brodie and T.S. also have a longer conversation on the way to the mall. The reactions to the fortune teller with three nipples also diverge and towards the end you also see alternative shots of Ben Affleck in the sex tape.

A more specific form of alternative material is also represented by a few shots zoomed in for censorship reasons. Right at the beginning, a few of the comic covers have been toned down. Drugs and breasts are quite nasty even in drawn form. Jay's plot, written with some hefty comments, has also been reworked. Miss Ivannah shows her three nipples only outside the frame here, of course.  It's annoying censorship, strictly speaking, but kind of cute to look at in this meticulous form.

All in all, this is of course not a serious alternative for the regular movie version. However, it's a funny notion that this heavily distorted form was the first encounter with Smith's View Askewniverse for some viewers. For those who already got a taste for it in that version, the original Theatrical Version was then, so to speak, really another movie to see. It's nice that this document of fierce censorship rage on US television has now been archived for eternity, in addition to the best possible available original versions.

Runtimes are ordered as follows: US-TV version Arrow Blu-ray / Theatrical Version Arrow Blu-ray

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The TV version begins with a note that the alternative takes could only be inserted from a poorer source of material in the present reconstruction.
Not included in cut duration/amount.

+ 11.3 sec




Dialog censorship
00:30-01:04 / 00:19-00:53

The off-screen comments that were already coming towards the end of the black screen and then over the first footage have been completely removed. In the TV version, you hear music instead.

Brodie: "One time, my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all. But the next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, Jesus, Walt, what are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck in your ass, too. Why don't you knock it off? And he said to me, Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out? My cousin was a weird guy."

Illustrated for reference




zoom
01:54-02:00 / 01:43-01:49

A comic book cover is zoomed in so that when the camera moves back, you can't see the hands on the girls' butts. The "Buttman" lettering is also cut off.

No time difference

TV VersionTheatrical Version




Zoom
02:07-02:17 / 01:56-02:06

Again, a naked drawing is missing. The following one is missing the lower part, with Silent Bob holding a joint in his hand - a closer comparison shot for that in a moment.

No time difference

TV VersionTheatrical Version




Zoom
02:27-02:40 / 02:16-02:29

Stan Lee has nice company as well and the Fantastic Two are also just barely visible.

No time difference

TV VersionTheatrical Version




Alternative
02:59-03:01 / 02:48-02:50

The TV version also has a couple of boobs in between. Here, one of those shots is recycled again to cover up the grab on the butt.

No time difference

TV VersionTheatrical Version




Alternative
03:09-03:11 / 02:58-03:00

Another alternative recycled comic strip.

No time difference

TV VersionTheatrical Version




Zoom
03:29-03:34 / 03:18-03:23

In the final credit, you can see the drawing with joint again. This time easier to see, since we're closer - which is why the TV version shows a different section of the cover.

No time difference

TV VersionTheatrical Version




Additional material in the TV version / Alternative
03:51-04:12 / 03:40-03:41

The Theatrical Version briefly switches to a close-up shot here as T.S. greets Brandi.


The TV version instead stays longer in the previous shot and here he says, "Oh, you're wearing the glasses. Do it."
Brandi: "T.S., there's something..."
T.S.: "What, people around? I don't care. Come on, do it for me once. Please. Please."
She gives in and gives a Superman performance; "Lois, I come from a planet very far from here. A planet called... Krypton."
With the last words, she pulls off her glasses and T.S. is meanwhile rejoicing.


TV version 20 sec longer



Dialog censorship
04:13 / 03:42

In the identical follow-up shot, his line was redubbed more harmlessly.

Theatrical Version: "I'm taking your ass to Florida."
TV version: "I'm taking you off to Florida."

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
04:54 / 04:23

Brandi's comment about Julie was re-recorded.

Theatrical Version: "She had the fattest ass."
TV version: "She had the fattest rear."

Illustrated for reference



05:16 / 04:45-04:48

T.S. recaps in an additional shot, "She's fucking dead?"

3.4 sec




Dialog censorship
05:22 / 04:54

More colorful cursing.

Theatrical Version: "Shit, T.S., he's really pissed at you."
TV version: "Gee, T.S., he's really miffed at you."

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
05:59 / 05:30

T.S. expresses himself in a more restrained manner.

Theatrical Version: "I bet he's as happy as a pig in shit..."
TV version: "I bet he's as happy as a pig in slop..."

Illustrated for reference




06:29 / 06:01-06:04

Half a minute later, Brandi is heard saying "You're being a complete ass" in the TV version as well. Immediately after this phrase, there is another cut to father Jared, who loses his towel during another martial arts pose, thus presenting his bare butt.

3 sec




Dialog censorship
06:41 / 06:16

Revised part of T.S.'s statement.

Theatrical Version: "this make-up, break-up shit".
TV version: "this make-up, break-up stuff".

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
06:51 / 06:26

Brandi also chooses the more harmless word.

Theatrical Version: "screw everybody else, my shit is more important".
TV version: "screw everybody else, my stuff is more important".

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
07:16 / 06:51

Brodie curses more viciously.

Theatrical Version: "Sweet fucking Christ, would you knock it off?"
TV version: "Geez, for crying out loud, would you knock it off?"

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
07:50 / 07:25

As Brodie turns to the game, his off-camera "Thank Christ!" has been removed from the audio track.

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
07:55 / 07:30

Rene complains alternatively.

Theatrical Version: "What the hell are you doing?"
TV version: "What the heck are you doing?"

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
08:41 / 08:16

Rene expresses himself differently.

Theatrical Version: "It beats the sneaking-around shit."
TV version: "It beats the sneaking-around stuff."

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
08:47 / 08:22

Brodie's commentary was re-recorded in an abbreviated fashion during the shot of the TV.

Theatrical Version: "Yeah, 'cause you're always in the goddamn bathroom, alright?"
TV version: "Yeah, 'cause you're always in the bathroom, alright?"

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
09:44 / 09:19

A grumbled "Jesus!" from Brodie was deleted from the audio track.

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
09:54 / 09:29

Rene states a little more harmlessly....

Theatrical Version: "I have nothing better to do than fuck you."
TV version: "I have nothing better to do than fool around with you."

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
10:32 / 10:07

Brodie greets T.S. differently.

Theatrical Version: "Holy shit!"
TV version: "Holy snot!"

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
10:43 / 10:18

T.S. has a more restrained statement ready.

Theatrical Version: "You're such an anal-retentive bastard."
TV version: "You're such an anal-retentive idiot."

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
11:07 / 10:42

A curiously modified review of Rene's letter.

Theatrical Version: "It also says I have no dick."
TV version: "It also says I have no depth."

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
11:23 / 10:58

A softly muttered "Shit." was deleted from the audio track.

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
11:38 / 11:13

A variation heard several times now....

Theatrical Version: "Holy shit!"
TV version: "Holy snot!"

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
12:05 / 11:40

Also interesting, barfing is apparently harmless compared to farting.

Theatrical Version: "Did you ever fart in front of her? [...] I never farted in front of Rene, not once, alright? Then last week, I let one slip."
TV version: "Did you ever vomit in front of her? [...] I never vomited in front of Rene, not once, alright? Then last week, I got sick."

Illustrated for reference



Dialog censorship
12:22 / 11:57

The activity taking place during this mishap was also toned down.

Theatrical Version: "She was going down on me at the time. [...] When I'm relaxed, I squirt."
TV version: "She was fooling around with me at the time. [...] When I'm relaxed, I'm sick."

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
12:34 / 12:09

Another comment toned down (in the shot that is still the same and therefore not illustrated).

Theatrical Version: "I can't believe this shit."
TV version: "I can't believe this stuff."



Dialog censorship
12:46 / 12:21

Ditto, the mall is mentioned differently.

Theatrical Version: "The fucking mall."
TV version: "The Valley mall."



Additional material in the TV version
13:09-13:48 / 12:44

The TV version has an additional scene outside the mall. Brodie and T.S. arrive and are talking as they do so. T.S. gets upset and already wants to go home, but Brodie convinces him.



+ 39.2 sec




Dialog censorship
14:13 / 13:09

Several sentences in a row re-voiced as Shannon and Brodie collide.

Theatrical Version:
Shannon: "Asshole."
Brodie: "Prick."
Shannon: "Fuck you."
T.S.: "What the hell was that all about?"
Brodie: "[...] The guy's always giving me shit. No idea why."
T.S.: "I thought everybody loved you at this mall."
Brodie: "'F' him."

TV version:
Shannon: "Airhead."
Brodie: "Geek."
Shannon's comment was deleted from the soundtrack.
T.S.: "What was that all about?"
Brodie: "[...] The guy's always giving me grief. No idea why."
T.S.: "I thought everybody loved you at this mall."
Brodie: "Except him."

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
14:45 / 13:41

Brodie grumbles alternatively.

Theatrical Version: "Where the hell did that come from?"
TV version: "Where the heck did that come from?"

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
15:19 / 14:15

Willam gets scared with different commentary.

Theatrical Version: "Ooh, poopie trim."
TV version: "Ooh, boobie trap!"

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
15:40 / 14:36

Willam gets excited in a different way.

Theatrical Version: "Damn it! [...] I can't see a goddamned thing!"
TV version: "Darn it! [...] I can't see a gosh darned thing!"

Illustrated for reference




16:54 / 15:50-15:51

A few insignificant frames in the transition of the shot from Willam to Brodie and T.S. walking away fall under the table.

0.8 sec




Dialog censorship
17:48 / 16:45

Jay greets T.S. alternatively.

Theatrical Version: "And look at this shit."
TV version: "And look at this man."

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
17:56 / 16:53

Jay's explanation of what Silent Bob is doing was also downplayed.

Theatrical Version: "Shithead here watched Empire and Jedi last week [...] Crazy fuck thinks he'll levitate shit with his thoughts."
TV version: "Meathead here watched Empire and Jedi last week [...] Crazy dude thinks he'll levitate things with his thoughts."

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
18:13 / 17:10

Jay's reaction turns out to be more harmless.

Theatrical Version: "What is this shit?"
TV version: "What is this stuff?"

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
18:21 / 17:18

An anecdote about Silent Bob was creatively re-purposed.

Theatrical Version: "He won the science fair in eighth grade by turning his mom's vibrator into a CD player, using chicken wire and shit. Motherfucker's like MacGyver. No, motherfucker's better than MacGyver!"
TV version: "He won the science fair in eighth grade by turning his mom's blender into a CD player, using chicken wire and string. This guy's like MacGyver. No, this guy's better than MacGyver!"

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
18:59 / 17:56

The analogy is less embellished.

Theatrical Version: "...just like the fucking Death Star. He figures if you pull this crossbeam out, fucking bickety-bam, the whole stage comes crashing down."
TV version: "...just like the freaking Death Star. He figures if you pull this crossbeam out, freaking bickety-bam, the whole stage comes crashing down."

Illustrated for reference




19:24 / 18:21-18:22

After LaFours is introduced, the follow up shot starts a moment early and Brodie comments here: "Holy shit!"

1.2 sec



Dialog censorship
19:32 / 18:30

Jay makes his point.

Theatrical Version: "Shit, bitch!"
TV version: "Gee, bud!"

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
19:53 / 18:51

Jay grumbles more harmlessly at his colleague.

Theatrical Version: "Damn, Silent Bob!"
TV version: "Hey, Silent Bob!"

Illustrated for reference




Additional material in the TV version / Alternative
20:00-20:02 / 18:58-19:04

Weird: In the TV version, an additional shot of cats is briefly inserted.
This covers up the middle part of what is actually a continuous shot: Jay is actually lightly hitting Brodie in the genital area as he walks away.

Theatrical Version 3.7 sec longer

TV VersionTheatrical Version




20:27 / 19:29-19:32

Willam reacts earlier triumphantly to the child, who in the picture has presumably not yet discovered the sailboat; "Ha-ha! You dumb bastard!"

3.5 sec




Dialog censorship
20:51 / 19:56

The fantasies about whether Superman could impregnate Lois at all were playfully toned down.

Theatrical Version: "Do you think her fallopian tubes can handle his sperm? I guarantee he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back."
TV version: "Do you think her faithful fans could handle the shock? I guarantee he blows her mind just like a rocket when it's in orbit."

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
21:02 / 20:07

A curse deviates.

Theatrical Version: "He's an alien, for Christ's sake!"
TV version: "He's an alien, for Pete's sake!"

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
21:14 / 20:19

The sex act was paraphrased.

Theatrical Version: "The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a Kryptonite condom."
TV version: "The only way he could be with regular chicks is with a Kryptonite condom."

Illustrated for reference




Dialog censorship
21:36 / 20:41

An old acquaintance (in the same and thus not again illustrated shot).

Theatrical Version: "Bullshit. Eateries that operate..."
TV version: "Bullsnot. Eateries that operate..."



Dialog censorship
21:50 / 20:55

Ditto, this time from TS.

Theatrical Version: "Holy shit."
TV version: "Holy snot."



Dialog censorship
22:06 / 21:11

Rene attacks alternatively.

Theatrical Version: "Didn't I dump your ass this morning?"
TV version: "Didn't I dump your butt this morning?"

Illustrated for reference

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