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Ted

Comparison:

  • Theatrical Version
  • Extended Version
Release: Nov 30, 2012 - Author: Muck47 - Translator: Tony Montana - external link: IMDB
Compared are the Theatrical Version and the Extended Version (Unrated Version) (both represented by the Universal UK-Blu-ray)


- 23 differences, including 9x alternate footage
- difference: 371.9 sec (= 6:12 min)





The Movie


There's no way to go past Seth MacFarlane anymore. After Family Guy got canceled in 2001 and didn't go back on air for several years, the situation was entirely different in 2008. With approx. 100 million dollar, MacFarlane got himself the best contract a show writer has ever gotten. This deal would guarantee lots and lots of new adventures with the Griffin family and with also the Smiths from American Dad. In this context, it's quite surprising that MacFarlane didn't come up with a motion picture before 2012. At least he finally did it.

MacFarlane's voice is an essential part of the success of Family Guy. So it doesn't take a genius to figure out that his voice can't be missing in it and the story of a talking teddy bear does the trick just fine. For Family Guy and American Dad fans, this movie is kind of a reunion because there are many familiar people involved. The narrator of the movie is Patrick Stewart who's playing Stan's boss in American Dad. Then there's Alex Borstein (voice of Lois, Tricia Takanawa and more) as John's mom, Mila "Shut up, Meg!" Kunis as leading actress, Mike Henry (voice of Cleveland, Herbert the Pervert and more) as Southern newscaster, John Viener as Alix, Danny Smith as waiter and Alec Sulkin as screenplay writer. Furthermore, the movie contains loads of popcultural references. There are also many ansurd scenes isolated from the actual storyline. Sound familiar? Well, that's because Family Guy does the exact same thing. Unfortunately, the movie becomes pretty conventional in the end; just like other Hollywood comedies do. But in this case, it's acceptable.
The audience has to have thought the same thing because the movie made $500 million worldwide at the box office. With that amazing result, it's the most successful Original R-rated movie ever (Hangover 2 was more successful but that's "just" a sequel). No surprise that a sequel is already in the pipeline.



The Versions


The fans already know the procedure from MacFarlane's shows, so it's not a surprise at all that his first motion picture is being handled in a similar way: besides the Theatrical Version, the Blu-ray and the DVD releases in the UK and the US also contain a so-called Unrated Version (name in the US) or Extended Version (name in the UK). The Unrated or Extended Version is 6 minutes longer.

As expected, the new footage doesn't reinvent the wheel, that's for sure. And there are no scenes that were censored in the Theatrical Version either (like the F-word in the TV Version of Family Guy). Refering to the rampage at Virginia Tech University might be borderline but then again gags like that are on MacFarlane's shows all the time. Probably a highlight is the scene in the beginning when Donny (as a kid) takes notice of Ted for the very first time.
Apart from that, the longer version contains some nice gags that enhance the quality of it. Due to the use of alternate footage for some scenes, the Theatrical Version is still worth being watched because some gags from the Theatrical Version have been removed in the process of editing the longer version. Finally, fans don't get around watching both versions anyway.



Time index refers to
Theatrical Version Blu-ray / Extended Version Blu-ray
Alternate
01:20-01:21 / 01:20-01:30

When the kids approach the little ginger (Greenbaum), the scene is longer in the Extended Version; including alternate footage.


The Theatrical Version only shows Greenbaum saying "Oh-oh...".

In the Extended Version, he says that from a different angle while the head of the bullies is approaching. Then the bully says: "It's Jesus' birthday tomorrow and you know what I'm gonna get him?"
Greenbaum: "What?"
Bully: "My fist in your fucking face?"
Greenbaum: "Why would Jesus want that?"

Extended Version 9.3 sec longer

Theatrical VersionExtended Version




05:12 / 05:22-05:46

Before John enters the kitchen, the Extended Version contains an additional scene with the parents. After some implications, they get straight to the fact that the mom (Helen) gave the dad (Steve) a BJ the previous evening.

Helen: "Well, I think we've had a wonderful Christmas this year."
Steve: "One of the best. And I particularly enjoyed the gift you gave me last night."
Helen: "Well, my big strong husband works so hard all year. I figured you deserved a little Christmas treat."
Steve: "I think those veneers just make it a smoother ride for me."
Helen: "Mmm. Well, that's how much I love you."
Steve: "Seriously though, that was an outstanding blowjob!"

24.6 sec




06:23 / 06:57-07:08

A further news report, this time from Japan. The female news anchor speaks Japanese before she's getting slapped by the male anchor.

10.9 sec




06:50 / 07:35-08:13

Additional scene. Little Donny is watching the talkshow with Ted which is why he wants a teddy bear in the first place. In the background, his dad is doing some chick, so he just states Donny already got a rake to clean the yard for his birthday.

Donny: "Dad, I want a teddy bear!"
Dad: "Hey! What did daddy just get you for your birthday, huh?"
Donny: "A rake."
Dad: "That's right. An excellent rake. A birthday rake. So when you clean the yard you don't have to pick up the leaves with your hands."
Donny: "But, Dad, I want the bear on TV?"
Dad: "Donny, shut up, will ya! Daddy's making love to New Mommy."
Donny: "But, Daddy..."
Dad: "Go to your hammock!"
Donny gets up, takes another look at the TV, then he leaves.

38.4 sec




Alternate
13:31-13:32 / 14:54-15:25

The Tom Skerritt dialog is longer. The Extended Version gives Murphy the opportunity to show off with his previleges.

Murphy: "I don't think of him as an actor anymore. He's just, like, a guy. Like, we work... we worked at my garage two months ago. Helped me hang a garage door. You ever hang a garage door with Tom Skerritt?"
John: "No..."
Murphy: "No! You ever, uh, go miniature golfing with Tom Skerritt's wife and her kid? No. You haven't. Do you ever watch a Bulls game, a Chicago Bulls game, in Chicago with Tom Skerritt? No, you haven't. All right? Liberty, fast track, Skerritt - John."


In the Theatrical Version, the following shot of John starts earlier. Furthermore, Murphy says offscreen: "Get out of here, okay?".


Extended Version 29.8 sec longer




15:35 / 17:28-17:46

Ted comments John's "So bad, but so good" commentary regarding Flash Gordon with the following words: "Yes, a study in contrast."
John replies: "Whoa, whoa, I love this part right here."
Now both of them start singing: "He's for every one of us! Stands for everyone of us! He'll save with a mighty hand every man, every woman, every child with a mighty flash!"
Ted finally says: "Fuck yeah, Flash!"

17.2 sec




Alternate
18:22-18:25 / 20:32-20:36

A very similar, but still alternate take. In the Extended Version, John expresses himself more direct: "I'm a fucking classy broad."

Extended Version 0.5 sec longer

Theatrical VersionExtended Version




Alternate
18:40-18:45 / 20:51-21:00

In both versions, John says "I'm taking you to the best place in town." but an alternate take has been used here (recognizable by the arm position). Then he remains still for a moment in the Theatrical Version. The Extended Version on the other hand switches to another shot of him in which he adds: "I've been crapping out room for it for two days. I mean, I know exactly what I'm gonna order."
Lori: "You're so disgusting."
Then, John's comment "You know I love you" follows. And again, the Extended Version contains an alternate take of his comment.

Extended Version 4.2 sec longer

Theatrical VersionExtended Version




Alternate
18:55-19:00 / 21:10-21:16

In the Extended Version, the distance shot is a few frames longer. Then an alternate take of John turning around in bed. But he only swears in the Extended Version "Ah, fucking cocksucker motherfucker!" while he's doing so. The Extended Version then just sticks to this shot when Lori addresses him while the Theatrical Version contains footage of from a different with the very same comment of Lori's. Not until its ending, the Theatrical Version goes to the distance shot from the Extended Version.

Extended Version 1 sec longer

Theatrical VersionExtended Version




21:11 / 23:27-23:31

First a shot of Lori. then Rex who reaches for magnifying glass and says about the photo: "Now, if you look close, you can see the outline of my root."

3.9 sec




Alternate
21:38-21:40 / 23:58-24:13

In the Theatrical Version, Lori says "Goodbye, Rex" from a closer angle. Then she gets up.


In the Extended Version, she says that from a further distance plus she actually leaves the room.
In the process, Rex says: "Hmm, you're fired."
Lori: "No, I'm not."
Rex gets up as well and goes with the magnifying glass to her chair. Then he takes a short smell at it.


Extended Version 13 sec longer

Theatrical VersionExtended Version




25:32 / 28:05-28:15

More dialog. John is being tactless by mentioning the rampage at Virginia Tech University.
In the same shot, he adds: "I could have wound up like that Asian kid at Virginia Tech but I didn't because of him. So I'm not that psyched to just, like, kick him out."
Lori: "What? It's good to know that a talking teddy bear is the only thing that prevented you from gunning down your classmates."

Subsequently Lori's comment "But you're no longer eight." which ia also in the Theatrical Version.

10.6 sec




Alternate
27:17-27:21 / 30:00-30:09

Ted has an alternate explanation for the excrements on the appartment floor. At first, the Extended Version contains an alternate take, followed by two additional ones.

In the Theatrical Version, Ted says: "Oh, yeah. Yeah, we were playing truth or dare and Cherene's pretty ballsy."
In the Extended Version, he says: "Oh, my God! You know what, that's probably what Dierdre was doing over there. Remember she was crouched over in the corner for a really long time? I thought she was just making a phone call or something."

Extended Version 4.2 sec longer

Theatrical VersionExtended Version




Alternate
27:23-27:28 / 30:11-30:20

After Lori repeated "There is a shit on my floor!", the version continue differently.

In the Theatrical Version, Ted says: "'Or is the floor on the shit?' is what Kierkegaard would say."
In the Extended Version, he says: "Yeah, yeah. She's passed out in the bathroom now. She seemed like she was hopped up on something but, you know, mystery solved, I guess, right? She was taking a shit."
Lori yells "What the fuck?" one more time.

Extended Version 4.3 sec longer

Theatrical VersionExtended Version




30:14 / 33:06-33:26

John reacts to the attorney's proposal: "As I said, you would need a law degree for a law school."
Ted: "No, no... I'm a special case. I'm a talking teddy bear for Christ's sake. They might make an exception because they'd be all like, 'Oh, my God, this bear's so cool. He can talk and do stuff. Let's give him a job. Maybe he'll give us a few laughs around the office.' And then they're like, 'Oh, my God! He can deliver. He's actually quite a litigator.' And then they'll practically have to give me the Anderson case."

20.5 sec




39:10 / 42:22-43:04

Ted Dansons TV interview begins much earlier. As a result, it contains a further rough comments. The interview keeps being interrupted by Ted and John on the sofa commenting his statements.

Danson (he laughs here and there): "Was there cocaine on the set of Cheers. Let me see, what's the best way to answer that... Are there naked dicks in gay porn? Ya...! Yeah, there was cocaine on the set. It was the '80s, you know. I was the king of the '80s. I was Ted fucking Danson. More importantly I was Sam fucking Mayday Malone. What was the other question? Oh, yeah, was I popular... Uh, are there naked dicks in gay porn? Yeah, yeah, I was beloved."
Ted laughs and John says: "You know, he is exactly who you want him to be."
Ted: "He is. He is a man we can all model ourselves after."

41.8 sec



During the following shot, only the Theatrical Version displays Ted Danson's name on the screen. The Extended Version doesn't because of the additional shots before.




43:50 / 47:44-48:15

The restaurant scene starts earlier. Tami-Lynn talks about her friend who luckily had a miscarriage so that she was able to go on a trip with Tami-Lynn.

Tami-Lynn: "See, I was all pissed off because me and my friend Danielle were supposed to go skydiving last year - but then she got pregnant from this asshole guy, so we couldn't go and I was all upset. But then she had a miscarriage and we ended up getting to go skydiving and it was so scary but it was so much fun."
John: "Sounds like everything worked out then, huh?"
Tami-Lynn: "I know! It's like... it's like God wanted me to go skydiving, you know?"
Lori (in shock): "Jesus!"
Tami-Lynn: "Or Jesus, him too, could be him."
Lori: "Yeah..."

30.7 sec




45:42 / 50:07-50:14

Tami-Lynn keeps cursing.

Tami-Lynn: "Stick your fucking asshole right up your fucking ass, how about that?"
Ted: "Okay..."
Tami-Lynn: "You're lucky I'm in my fucking restaurant clothes, bitch, 'cause I'd kick your fucking ass right now."
Ted: "Okay, come on..."

6.7 sec




48:53 / 53:24-53:54

Before John and Rex go upstairs, they have a little chat with some women in the Extended Version. Their subject is Rex's one-night stands. The brunette one and Rex had one in a not-so-nice location.

#1: "This house is unbelievable."
#2: "Haven't you been here before?"
#1: "What do you mean?"
#2: "You know, when you and Rex were..."
#1: "Oh, no, that was at work."
#2: "You guys did it in the office?"
#1: "Yeah."
#3: "Where?"
#1: "In the men's room."
#2: "Oh, my God."
#1: "Why? Were did you sleep with him?"
#2: "Here."
#1: "Oh."
#2: "Sorry."
#1: "It was in the handicapped stall, so it was...nicer than the regular stalls."

29.4 sec




70:04 / 75:05-75:09

Extended shot of talking Ted in a closer angle.
His anecdote has been used in the previous seven-second-shot with the same angle though. Screens have only been taken for the additional footage in the Extended Version.

Theatrical Version: "(Me and Norah met in 2002 at) a party at Belinda Carlisle's house and we had awkward fuzzy sex in the coatroom."
Extended Version: "(Me and Norah met in 2002 at) this event for this charity that we were both involved with. This wonderful charity, actually, for kids who've been fucked by a family member. And we ended up hooking up in the back room."

3.6 sec




84:16 / 89:20-90:07

After John and Lori drove off, the Extended Version contains an additional scene with Ted and Donny. Ted attempts to escape and realizes that further teddy bears had to suffer in this house in the process.

Donny: "You put us in quite a pickle here. We have to go now."
Ted: "Yeah, good idea..."
He tosses the phone in his private parts and runs off.
Donny: "You effin a-hole."
Ted runs across the hallway. After a while, he trips down the stairway to the basement where he discovers some kind of teddy bear cemetary with dozens of tattered members of the same "species".
Donny is standing behind him: "We tried to make do with other teddy bears. But none of them were you, Ted."

46.5 sec




Alternate
98:56-98:57 / 104:47-105:09

The Extended Version shows the newly-weds from behind. Being in front of the car, they wave and Lori throws the bouquet up in the air. A blond chick catches it but Tami-Lynn is also there and doesn't like it all. So she takes the blond chick down in order to get the bouquet for herself.


The Theatrical Version simply contains an extended version of the previous shot with John and Lori. They leave the scenery on the left this time.


Extended Version 20.9 sec longer
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