23:24 / 26:14-26:18
After the elderly cop's comment that someone had tried to steel Tom Brady's sperm again, the younger one only asks in the Extended Version: "Really?"
Elderly cop: "Welcome to Boston, kid."
28:32 / 31:26-32:53
After the encounter in the hallway, Donnie goes in the basement and reveals a torture chamber for teddies resp. he is rehearsing his revenge.
Donnie takes a bear in his hand and ties it to the table. He then slowly burns the fur with a lamp: "Hi, Ted. I've missed you."
When pushing the button, the bear says: "I love you!"
Donnie, with the voice of a child at first; "I wuv you too. I wuv you too! I wuv you too! Pretty soon you'll be saying that for real. Pretty soon. Pretty soon. Pretty soon. This is gonna work. This is gonna work. This is gonna work. Okay. Just... Shh! Okay. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Oh, sh... Soon, my love. Soon."
87.3 sec (= 1:27 min)
29:46 / 34:07-34:50
Additional conversation in the Extended Version before the scene at the adoption clinic.
Tami-Lynn: "Teddy, I got a really good feeling about this."
Ted: "I know. Me too. I mean, adoption's great. Right?"
Tami-Lynn: "Oh, yeah. I mean, Steve Jobs was adopted."
Ted: "Yeah! Yeah. And also a million kids who did nothin'."
Tami-Lynn: "You know, Teddy, this has been nice, you and me doing this together. It's like we have a common goal or somethin'. Right?"
Ted. "I love hearing you say that, 'cause I feel exactly the same way."
Tami-Lynn: "And we ain't fought in, like, a week."
Ted: "I know! We haven't! Hey, you know what, if the baby works out, we should get a dog."
Tami-Lynn: "Oh, my God. A German shepherd."
Ted: "A German shepherd and a baby, together."
Tami-Lynn: "It's, like, the perfect family."
Ted: "And a gun to protect us all!"
Tami-Lynn: "Yes! Okay, as soon as we get the baby, we get the gun."
Ted: "I love our gun-dog-baby family!"
They get off.
41:30-41:33 / 46:34-47:03
The dialog about a last name is more elaborate in the Extended Version.
Ted: "Last name of a movie character."
They are both excited and Ted says: "He knows where this is goin'. All right, you ready?"
John: "Skywalker, Solo, Vader, Kenobi, Palpatine, Calrissian, Balboa, Rambo, Griswold, Stepford, Bickle, Gump, Corleone, Wonka, Lebowski, Venkman, Spengler, Stantz, Rizzo, Zuko, Golighty, Higgins, Dolittle, Poppins, Bond, Blofeld, Blutarsky, Soze, O'Hara, Butler, McFly, Plissken, Ventura, Burgundy, Scissorhands, Drebin, Bueller, Lecter, Dumbledore, Sparrow, Doubtfire, Bourne, Von Trapp, Zoolander, Kirk, Spock, McCoy..." Ted: "Clubber Lang."
John swears before they get excited again: "Fuckin'..."
In the Theatrical Version, Ted instantaneously says "Clubber Lang!" instead.
Extended Version 25.8 sec longer
43:24-43:29 / 48:54-49:10
The shot of Donnie entering the room is longer in the Extended Version plus he makes a comment about the pony: "I love these things! Look at this!"
Mr. Jessup responds: "Don't touch my pony."
The Theatrical Version contains a short additional shot of him entering without saying a single word.
Extended Version 11.6 sec longer
58:02 / 63:44-63:59
After the Fox News splitscreen, only the Extended Version contains a comment by Jimmy Fallon: "So, the big story out of Boston is that Ted, the bear, is suing to prove that he's a person. Legal experts are closely watching this case. They said if Ted wins, Donald Trump's hair would look to quickly file a similar lawsuit."
58:14 / 64:11-64:22
Before the Saturday Night Live cutaway, Bill Maher also makes a comment in the Extended Version: "This sounds like a silly case, but this is actually a really big case. The last time someone named Ted made this much news in Massachusetts, he drove a chick into a lake."
68:08 / 74:16-74:35
Only the Extended Version shows Ted driving off - Donnie follows him.