Once upon a time...

In a modern reinterpretation of the fairy tale of Hansel and Gretel, Hansel and Gretel are a couple. Hansel would like to sleep with Gretel, but she refuses him. He finds her concept of marriage and eternal love old-fashioned. In a forest, the two meet an attractive witch who invites them to her opulent castle. Since the witch is not stingy with her charms, the naive Hansel quickly succumbs to her. By giving herself to Hansel, Gretel finally manages to break the witch's spell.

How to make love to a Virgin (also known as The Erotic Adventures of Hansel and Gretel) no longer has much in common with the story of the Brothers Grimm, but instead revels in the zeitgeist of the 69 movement with free love. The simple-minded free spirit Hansel falls into the clutches of a sex witch, while Gretel philosophizes about whether she should give herself to her beloved. Since this was not stuffed enough with erotic scenes, Herbert Fux as the stableman may occasionally have fun with the maid. In a dorky supporting role as carver Oswald is the late German comedian Karl Dall, whose most striking scene consists of rubbing two wooden sticks against each other while calling out Knusper. The film is cleverer and funnier than it should be, so it gets a clear recommendation.

Two versions on the German DVD

The film was released in German cinemas on 20.02.1970. From VMP followed a VHS release. In the meantime, Mr. Banker Films / Cargo Records released a DVD of the film on which you can find not only the German version, but also the US version. This was already released in the US by SWV on VHS. The basis here was a theatrical print. The US version is shortened in plot and sex scenes.

The German version of the Mr. Banker Films DVD is on a solid VHS level, while the US version is much worse. The basis here was also a theatrical print, perhaps even the version from SWV. The picture quality is very poor, the colors washed out and the film riddled with smudges. To make matters worse, the version on DVD runs about 1.15 times too slow, which explains the longer runtime. As a result, the voices of all the actors are too deep and seem distorted. The US version is therefore not recommendable. The German version on the DVD is identical to the VMP VHS, including the film tear mentioned in the report.

Picture comparison:

German version:

US version:

Runtimes:

German version: 78:28 min.
US version: 84:02 min.

The US version was compared to the uncut German version.

[00:00:00][00:00:00]

Curious: The US version begins with newly edited opening credits. Before Gretel is kissed by Hansel, however, the German opening credits follow and these scenes are repeated again.

The US version begins with the Herb Bromberg-Park Lane Films logo.

The reeds can be seen, then a freeze frame titled "How to make love to a Virgin" fades in.

Hansel and Gretel frolic in the water and then return to the beach.

US: 1:05 min.


[00:19:22][00:23:13]

Film tear in the US: the servant continues to walk into the room.

German version: 3 secs.


[00:19:48][00:23:41]

Film tear: The servant and maid are seen longer, then Hansel earlier.

German version: 7 secs.


[00:22:46][00:26:56]

Film tear in the German version. Oswald takes a sip from the bottle. Afterwards, Hansel is seen earlier.

US: 4 secs.


[00:25:57][00:30:38]

During the dream sequence, it is missing how the camera moves up the witch illuminated in green light. Hansel is lying underneath her.

German version: 9 secs.


[00:36:51][00:42:57]

The witch turns Hansel to her and kisses him. She says that she knew he was coming and pulls him into her room. Afterwards, a frustrated Gretel is seen in her room, wondering why Hansel has not come to her. She thinks about going to him, but says that he has to come to her.

After that, you can see the servant and the maid standing in front of the remains of the gander. The servant says that the fox will fall into his trap and that he will give his rod to the maid. At the same time, he grabs her bosom. She asks what the poor geese will do now.

German version: 59 secs.


[00:39:53][00:45:18]

Film tear in the US: Gretel bites into the apple.

German version: 2 secs.


[00:51:22][00:58:24]

The witch strokes Hansel's thigh before he gets out of the wagon.

German version: 6 secs.


[00:52:15][00:59:18]

The German version shows the witch lying down on the seat as Hansel climbs over her.

German version: 7 secs.


[00:52:40][00:59:39]

Hansel and the witch kiss longer in the car before cutting to the teacher.

German version: 27 secs.


[00:54:05][01:00:46]

The witch is seen longer after Hansel leans back.

German version: 6 secs.


[00:57:18][01:04:19]

The moon can be seen in the sky. The servant watches Gretel as she takes off her nightgown. The maid goes to him, shows him her breasts and asks if they are not good enough for him anymore. The servant begins to fondle the maid.

In the next shot, Gretel is seen earlier.

German version: 51 secs.


[00:59:22][01:05:44]

Hansel closes the door of the closet.

The witch leads him into the room and gives him a kiss. Hansel says that she is a wonderful woman. He wants to know from her how she knows what a man feels.

German version: 1:02 min


[01:03:24][01:09:08]

Hansel is dragged into the predator's cage by the witch.

German version: 7 secs.


[01:05:36][01:11:31]

After the scene in the predator cage, Oswald is seen making two people out of sticks, with whom he simulates lovemaking by setting them in motion with a spinning wheel thread. While doing so, he repeats the word "crunch".

German version: 10 secs.


[01:06:38][01:12:31]

Before the horses are seen, the German version shows Hansel and the witch making love near the castle.

German version: 37 secs.


[01:08:13][01:13:38]

Film tear in the US: the witch approaches Hansel.

German version: 2 secs.


[01:08:50][01:14:18]

Gretel is harassed longer in the stable by the servant. He grabs her between the legs.

German version: 5 secs.


[01:10:30][01:16:06]

The maid rubs against the unconscious servant with whom she is lying in the hay. The latter slowly awakens and is very pleased with the situation. The maid says that it is nice to wake up like this.

German version: 34 secs.


[01:12:54][01:18:12]

Oswald looks for two matching sticks to rub together. He says that he knew these would make a great crunch.

German version: 21 secs.


[01:15:52][01:21:13]

The witch berates Hansel as a miserable, lower-class, mindless juggler and sends him away.

German version: 8 secs.