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Uncensored US Box-Set (Region 1)



So I Married An Axe Murderer

Scream 6


The Last Starfighter


3.02 The Bend in the River: Part 1


  • UK DVD (Syndicated Version)
  • Uncut
Release: May 07, 2011 - Author: Doc Idaho - Translator: DaxRider123 - external link: IMDB - more from this series
Unlike the first 2 seasons, Universal decided to use the master of the German TV versions for the release of the third season box-set. Unfortunately, these versions are sometimes censored and also offer have an inferior image quality.

This is a comparison between the UK DVD released by Universal and the German DVD (interestingly enough including the uncensored version of this episode), also released by Universal.

German DVD: 48:36 minutes [PAL]
UK DVD: 43:47 minutes [PAL]

There are 2 shortened scenes which result in 5:53 minutes of missing footage.
10th minute
There's an entirely missing sequence of Hannibal again playing the role of the monster Aquamaniac for a movie.
Hannibal comes out of the water wearing the monster costume.
The director screams: "All tight, cut." Then he reaches for a megaphone and continues "You're making a big mistake with me, muchacho. You're a 328-a day-goof in a monster suit. When I say come out of the water fast, I mean come out of the water fast."
Hannibal replies: "I'm just trying to give the character some motivation, David. You see, David. The Aquamaniac is a little confused here."
The director comes closer to Hannibal, who keeps talking: "He's killed three girls but one, he sort of loved."
Director: "Loved? Loved. Where the hell did you get that? We're not doing Macbeth. We're doing a cheese-sandwich horror movie here."
Hannibal: "That doesn't mean it can't be performed well, David."
Director: "Right."
Then he gets the megaphone and announces: "That's luch. Lunch everybody."
Hannibal: "David, I'm trying to give the Aquamaniac some soul. Now, as corny as it seems, he's the classic fish out of water."
Director: "You're putting me on?"
Hannibal: "No. You see, he really comes from a lake in the African rain forest. His egg was transported by mistake to L.A. with a zoologist who was bringing back these ostrich eggs. Now he feels..."
Director: "I know the story, Smith. I just want you to come out of the water faster. Why do you put me through this?"
Hannibal: "I can't come out of the water faster and be sad and remorseful and lost. It can't be performed."
Director (to another guy in the off): "Mattie, get this guy out of this costume..."
While leaving, the director keeps talking: "... and get me anoter stiff from the wardrobe department."
Hannibal walks after him.
The director (to another guy, presumably Mattie): "One that won't bore the pants off me with this Stanislavsky drivel."
Hannibal (to the director): "David, you are being unreasonable. I'm just trying to give the Aquamaniac a soul. I have done it in three movies."
Director (to the other guy): "Now get this jerk off the set."

Meanwhile, Face is standing around next to the catering and wants to have a free meal. The same guy who was talking to Hannibal and the Director asks him: "Are you on this company?"
Face: "Oh yeah, sure. I'm the Aquamaniac's dialog coach." He turns around to the catering guy and says: "Chicken a la king, please."
The guy Face is talking to tries to take Face's food away (that little game between them goes on during the entire scene) and says: "The Aquamaniac doesn't have any dialog."
Face: "On age 26, he says 'grrrrrrrr'. Now, that can be read 'grrrrrrrr' or 'grrrrrrrr'." (the second one is slightly different)
He continues: "Now, I'm sure you could see what a total difference a line reading makes. One is angry and the other is really more of a question. I'm not even gonna go into what he says on page 110 in his really big scenewhere he dies and says..."
Now Face is making some weird noise that really can't be written down. Then he says: "It's a really tricky piece of acting. Of course Smith and I are really beginning to find the true meaning and the depth of this character. Personally, I see the line as an appeal for forgiveness. You know, wort of a final animal cry in the wilderness. You know, as a hopeful moment for future monsters wherever they are."
Suddenly, Hannibal comes around and says: "Come on Face. I'm off the picture."
The guy almost bought it but finally takes Face's food away.
Face: "Well, it's show business." Then he leaves.
In the next scene, Hannibal is taking off his costume while he's talking to Face.
Hannibal: "I mean, I had a real back story on this character, Face. I was giving it dimension."
Face: "Look, Hannibal. Tawnia's over at my place. She's been crying her eyes out all morning."
Hannibal: "Pull." / Face: "She wants to talk to you." (almost at the same time)
Hannibal: "Well, what are we supposed to do? Go down the amazon and bail this playboy out? What do I look like, a magican? Feet."
Face: "No, a fish out of water."
Hannibal: "That was the whole concept of the character. See, it's a classic. Kind of a Pygmalion with scales."
Face: "What am I supposed to tell her? She says she wants to marry him. She wants us to go down there and look for him."
Hannibal: "Maybe I could wear this suit. I bet I'd wow on the Amazon River."
The curly-haired guy from before arrives: "Give me that fish suit. Another guy's coming down."
Hannibal: "I had a real fix on this character. Oh well. Let's go talk to Tawnia, huh?"
Face: "Great. I'll drive."
They hop in Face's wheels and leave.

4:19 minutes

38th minute
Inside the warehouse Face goes to the pirate's daughter and says: "Well, not bad."
She starts laughing and responds: "I asume you mean the way I handle a knife."
Face: "Hmm, that too."
Daughter: "You are very funny."
Face passes her his cigar, she takes a puff and passes it back.
Daughter: "You have the looks and manners of the playboy but you are not. You're a professional. All of you are professionals. So what is it, Senor? What makes Brian Lefcourt so muy importante?"
Face: "She does." He points at Tawnia in the background. Then a close-up of Tawnia before we return to Face and the daughter.
Daughter: "And she's not your woman?"
Face: "Could I bring a girlfriend down here with me and still call myself a professional?"
Daughter: "No. But she's not one of you. Not part of your team. She has the heart but not the soul for it."
Face: "Well, she's a friend. A good friend. And someone she cares about is in trouble."
Daughter: "So you came up here for that and no other reason, huh?"
Face: "Do you find it difficult to understand something as simple as someone caring about someone they love?"
Daughter: "I know all about caring, senor. And loving."
Face: "Is that what gives you the privilege to go round the bend in the river? Are you this Doyle's woman?"
Daughter: "I belong to no one." Then she throws her knife into a wooden stake on the right. Face laughs at her. Then another close-up of Tawnia, she looks really worried about Brian.


The UK DVD's version ends with the A-Team tied up on a boat. This scene is missing on the German DVD (which includes this scene at the beginning of the second episode). (53,5s)

Additionally, the UK version sometimes fades from one scene to the next one while the German version only cuts to the next version, sometimes missing out on a few frames of footage (overall about 4 seconds).