R-Rated: 100 minutes (1:40:22 with Credits | 1:32:41 without Credits)
GER-DVD: 102 minutes (1:42:28 with Credits | 1:35:05 without Credits)

This is a comparison between the cut R-Rated DVD with the uncut German DVD (FSK 16).

There are a total of 49 cuts in the R-Rated version (and in the Unrated as well). Not only sexual innuendos have been cut, but also some of the funnier (more or less) scenes. Especially the scenes that are making fun of the Taliban have been cut for mostly unknown reasons. There were also some pacing cuts, especially inside the "godshelter" when The Postal Dude is locked away.

The missing scenes run for about 386 seconds (6 minutes and 26 seconds), even though the German Version is only 2 minutes longer than the R-Rated Version. This is due to the PAL-SpeedUp that was made for the German DVD.

Additional info:
Dialog missing from the R-Rated DVD has been marked italic.
Timemarks refer to the R-Rated DVD (the timemarks in brackets refer to the German DVD)
As the R-Rated and Unrated Version are identical except for the creditroll, where the Unrated Version inserts Deleted Scenes, this comparison works for the Unrated Version as well.

0:37:45 (0:36:11)

The R-Rated DVD is missing a scene where the gang talks about the insider, that will smuggle them inside Little Germany. Here we find out, that it was D.O.O.M. who sabotaged Verne Troyer's transport.

Dude: Are you sure that your "insider" will be able to get us inside?
(Richard takes Dude's pointing stick)
Richard: He is both a high-ranking parking lot manager and a loyal member to the flock. Now, I noticed there's a lot of security between the drawbridge and the store room. Now how do we get through unnoticed?
Dude: With a distraction.
(Dude takes his pointing stick back)
Dave: We're gonna fuck with the international superstar's transportation. By time he gets here, he'll be royally pissed, man. And you know how people jump when a VIP is pissed off.
Richard: You are a blessing upon us, my brother.

approx. 34 secs

0:40:14 (0:39:09)

The Taliban run to their van and Osama is allowed - by international "Shotgun-"law - to sit on the front seat next to Mohammed.
Cut to the "heroes": Everyone is running in step out of the building while Dude is constantly yelling "Go! Go! Go! ..." you get the point...
Cut to the Taliban: Osama helps one of the Taliban in a very friendly way into the van, always yelling "Go!" just like Dude. He gets to sit on the front seat right next to Mohammed and tells him to "Go!".
Cut to the "heroes": Dave is sleeping on the couch, Dude comes back and wakes him in a way everyone would love to be woken up. He also mentions in a very subtle way, that Dave should come with them too.

approx. 33 secs

0:43:33 (0:42:52)

The first report from the red carpet is missing.

Bob: People have been lining up for days to be the first to get their hands on the convenient Krotchy Dolls. Over to you on the red carpet, Gayle.
Gayle: Thanks, Bob. It really is incredible here. As you know, international superstar Verne Troyer will be arriving at any moment now. He's the voice of Krotchy in the cartoons and the video-game.

approx. 16 secs

0:43:54 (0:43:29)

Cindy is sucking on the tip of her finger.

approx. 0.3 secs

0:44:01 (0:43:36)

A longer sun-creme moment. Plus a little spank for naughty girls.

approx. 1 sec

0:44:04 (0:43:40)

We are allowed a longer view on the sun-creme. Nice sun-creme!

approx. 1 sec

0:44:15 (0:43:50)

Jenny says "There's four of them and only one of me."

approx. 4 secs

0:45:15 (0:44:52)

Richard is talking to Dude and Dave while the latter are smoking pot. Richard uses a mean German Accent.

Richard: "This is Anne Frank, go Hitler 2."
Dude: "Copy."
Richard: "Ja. I'm in position. Ja. V.I.P. is arriving as we speeek."
Dude: Why do you sound all queer?
Richard: I'm using an German accent, I'm undercover.
Dude: Stop it!
(Dude turns off the Walkie)
Dude: He's kind of retarded, eh?
Dave: Yes, but very loyal. Retards are, really.
(pauses until the ladies enter)
Dave: Ladies...

22 seconds

0:45:20 (0:45:19)

After the ladies arrive in the storage room, Dave is looking strange at Mitzi because she has something brown around her mouth. After Dave asks her what is wrong, she says that he made "poo poo in her mouth". Dave tries to be as caring as he can to cheer her up.

20 seconds

0:45:34 (0:45:53)

While the girls are doing all the easy work, Dude tells them they're doing good.

3 seconds

0:47:06 (0:47:25)

Mohammed picks up a Krotchy Doll while the other Taliban run further. Osama tells Mohammed something on the walkie.

Osama: The fat man is at the buffet.
Mohammed: What?
Osama: Repeat: The fat man is at the buffet.
Mohammed: What the hell are you talking about?
Osama: The van is here, you idiot.

approx. 10 seconds

0:50:22 (0:50:43)

The Little Germany Escape is a bit longer.

approx. 0.5 seconds

0:50:26 (0:50:46)

The Little Germany Escape is another bit longer.

approx. 0.5 seconds

0:50:35 (0:50:55)

The Taliban need more time to get to their van.

approx. 1.5 seconds

0:50:40 (0:51:02)

Dude starts the postal truck.

approx. 0.5 sec

0:50:42 (0:51:04)

The doors of the van get opened longer.

5 Frames

0:50:46 (0:51:08)

Abdul, the retarded Taliban, is jumping all excited before he gets into the van.

approx. 1 sec

Additional scene only on the US-DVD:
0:51:00 (0:51:23)

Mohammed is looking for the keys from a different angle.

approx. 1 sec

0:51:28 (0:51:48)

Mohammed tells the Taliban, that one of them knows where the postal truck might be headed to.

Mohammed: Brother Tariq knows one of the offenders female cohorts. Already he is on his way to their residence to intercept and capture them!
Osama: Allah be praised!

approx. 9 seconds

The German DVD shows the Taliban on the back seats longer. It also shows them looking from Mohammed to Osama while the R-Rated DVD shows only Osama, but he can be seen earlier than on the German DVD.

R-Rated	German DVD

0:51:40 (0:52:08)

The following scene is differently cut in the German Version. While the R-Rated version shows the Taliban first shooting up the roof of their van and then how the bullet holes appear, the German shows first how the bullet holes appear and then how the Taliban are still shooting up their roof.
And the dissolve is a different one, too.

approx. 1.5 sec time difference

R-Rated	German DVD

0:54:25 (0:54:47)

While the US-Version shows alternate footage (never seen anywhere else!) as Dude is asking if the can sneak past the Taliban, with mouthing a different line than the one we hear. The German Version also shows a longer conversation.

Dude: Do you think we can sneak him past the Taliban without them finding out?
Richard: We can try. But what do we do about the truck?
Dude: I'll take care of the truck.
Dave: Wait a minute, why don't I know about the shelter, Richie? And where the fuck are you gonna hide my Krotchy Dolls?

approx. 6 seconds

R-Rated	German DVD

0:58:18 (0:58:37)

The TV-Host tells why the victims in the WTC deserved to die, which is missing from the R-Rated DVD.

approx. 10 seconds

1:00:46 (1:01:09)

Dave can't believe all of this madness.

Richard: Except for those who hide like rabbits below the ground.
Dave: I can't believe this. You guys build this all by yourselves, just because I wrote that shit?
Richard: I am of true faith, Uncle Dave. Even if you are not.

approx. 10 seconds

1:02:50 (1:03:17)

A scene is missing where Abdul, the retarded Taliban, is pulling Krotchy's string and the doll is saying something.
On the R-Rated DVD we only see his reaction.

Krotchy: Hi, I'm Krotchy. I'm a boner.

approx. 5 seconds

1:03:22 (1:03:53)

After Dude figures out that Richard is nuts, he tries to kill Richard but is stopped by Starr - who is beating a gun on his head, so he can't kill him.
There is also a little conversation between Dave and Richard.

Dude: He's fucking nuts.
(Dude grabs a gun and points it at Richard, before he can shoot he gets stopped by Starr, who is beating her gun on his head, Dude lets his gun fall to the ground)
Starr: Sorry, sweetie, God's orders.
(Starr beats Dude again with the gun on his head)
Dude: Come on!
Dave: Yeah, cool down.
(Dave looks at Richard)
Dave: Richie, I don't care how fucked up I was. I never wrote anything about killing everybody with the birdflu.
Richard: Not percisely, but when I read between the lines I felt confident, that's that what you meant.
(Dude and Dave are looking at Richard as if they're struck by thunder)
Richard: Which brings us to you, Mr. Verne Troyer.

approx. 24 seconds

1:03:58 (1:04:51)

Dave promises never to smoke again, if it makes Richard feel better.

Dave: Hey, look, man. You know what, if it makes you feel better, I'll promise I never gonna smoke up again.
Richard: You are about to witness the beginning of the end. Bring on the monkeys!

approx. 11 seconds

1:04:46 (1:05:48)

The search for another martyr is longer in the German Version.

Mohammed: Unfortunately, the desperate nature of our situation suggests that we may need another of us to embrace martyrdom as we bring our fight to the infidels. Now... who amongst us will take that honor today?
(the Taliban look around for a while)
Bobeck: How about you, Mohammed? You are so worthy.
(the other Taliban seem to agree in the background)
Mohammed: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. And I would love to. I would love to! Believe me, nobody more than me would love to. But unfortunately Osama told me I couldn't.
Bobeck: How about Abdul?

approx. 25 seconds

1:05:17 (1:06:22)

The Taliban congratulate Abdul, the retarded Taliban, to his immense luck. Abdul, the retarded Taliban, doesn't understand what's going on.

approx. 30 seconds

1:06:02 (1:07:36)

Osama is making notes of what Michael, the seminar speaker, is talking about, while he (Michael) is talking about Page 5, where there is a cartoon. What may be inside the cartoon is up the seminar guests, as they have to learn that humour at the workplace is very important to enslave people without having to use real chains.
He also tells that for those that want to be on the safe side, he also sells chains besides his CDs and books.

approx. 24 seconds

1:06:47 (1:08:43)

Richard is mockingly nodding to Dave. To weak to show it on pictures.

approx. 3 seconds


1:10:14 (1:02:04)

Richard tells the girls to clean up Uncle Dave.

Richard: Girls, clean up Uncle Dave!

approx. 4 seconds

1:10:21 (1:12:15)

Dude is working longer on the C4.

approx. 3 seconds

1:10:23 (1:12:21)

Dude is working longer again before he searches for something.

4 seconds

1:10:25 (1:12:27)

Dude searches again.

2 seconds

1:10:28 (1:12:32)

Dude is working with the cabels.

5 seconds

1:10:31 (1:12:39)

Dude is working longer with the C4.

approx. 3 seconds

1:10:32 (1:12:43)

Dude is working longer with the C4 before searching again and pulling the shirt out of his pants.

6 seconds

1:10:38 (1:12:53)

Dude takes the cable out of his mouth and puts it aside.

approx. 3 seconds

1:10:40 (1:12:59)

Another thing that takes longer.

approx. 1 second

1:10:43 (1:13:02)

Dude puts his shirt aside before he works on other cables.

approx. 2 seconds

1:10:49 (1:13:10)

Dude is MacGyvering longer.

approx. 1 second

1:10:51 (1:13:13)

Dude and the C4 are shown longer.

approx. 1.5 seconds


Alternatee Sequence
01:17:43 (01:19:49)

The Baby-Run-Over has been changed from its original German Version.
In the R-Rated Version we see Dude asking Faith if she ever had a hangnail, because he got one while driving. While he is not looking on the street, the baby-carriage gets on the street and left by its owner, leaving the baby behind to get run over by our hero.. main-protagonists. The latter are asking themselves what the hell that was before it gets cut to Bitch.

In the German Version Dude and Faith are looking at the street while running over the baby in the stroller. They don't seem to mind this. Faith asks Dude where they're going. Dude answers "Somewhere were you wouldn't notice a giant explosion." before it gets cut to Bitch.

approx. 1 second longer on the German DVD

R-Rated	German DVD

1:19:38 (1:21:41)

The Taliban are not getting out of their van right away because Mohammed keeps them by summarizing what they learned from the seminar.

approx. 14 seconds

1:19:41 (1:21:58)

Mohammed is still talking about the seminar. Osama wants to get out when Mohammed pauses for a second, but stays in the van because Mohammed continues.
We also see a lot of new people coming to the trailer park and the first person gets killed by Dude with a head shot.
While Mohammed continues in the van, the big guy with the big gun and the bad wig ... the one in the front ... knees down.

approx. 16 seconds

1:19:43 (1:22:16)

Mohammed tries to continue with an "Also...", but he already told everything.

approx. 0.5 sec

1:19:48 (1:22:21)

Mohammed walks like a hunchback while getting to safety behind the van.
Also: Dude kills a Taliban. It looks like this is a different camera angle from a later scene.

approx. 4 seconds

1:23:13 (1:25:42)

Dude hesitates on the German DVD a bit longer.

approx. 1 second

1:26:46 (1:29:06)

Osama gets his gun and leaves the payphone, but comes back to check if he gets some change back. He doesn't, so he curses and leaves for good.

approx. 8 seconds

1:31:46 (1:34:03)

Dude feeds a disembodied hand to his dog.

approx. 10 seconds