[00:04:33][00:04:32]

In the TV version, during the opening credits, the end of the sequence where the car drives through the ladies locker room is missing.

Theatrical Version: 4 sec


[00:11:36][00:11:31]

When Frank lists who might be responsible for Nordberg's condition, the TV version is missing the gay lover.

Theatrical Version: 2 sec


[00:11:56][00:11:49]

When Frank lists what he thinks is a good death, the TV version is missing his line "Having your nuts bitten off by a laplander."

Theatrical Version: 3 sec


[00:12:02][00:11:52]

In the Theatrical Version, Wilma leans on Frank and says it's awful.

After Frank says he wants to die this way, Wilma clings to him and says she can't have children now. Frank comforts her and says that Nordberg isn't even dead yet and they can talk about their life together later.

Wilma: "Oh Frank, oh, this is terrible. Now we can never have children."
Frank: "Wilma, please. He's not even dead yet. We'll talk about our lives later."

Theatrical Version: 4 sec.
TV: 14 sec.


[00:13:24][00:13:24]

In the Theatrical Version, you can see Frank, Ed and Wilma leaving the hospital room for a little longer.

In the TV version, Frank is the last to leave the room and flips a switch on the wall, thinking that this will turn off the lights. In fact, this deactivates life support for Nordberg. As Frank, Ed and Wilma walk down the hall, an alarm sounds from Nordberg's room. Agitated, the doctors and nurses run into Nordberg's room. Frank says that Wilma can be glad that she is not the poor guy's wife.

Ed: "Don't worry Wilma."
Frank: "Just be thankfull that you're not the wife of that poor guy."

Theatrical Version: 1 sec


[00:13:42][00:14:00]

After the mayor tells the press that Queen Elizabeth will be coming to Los Angeles, there is a brief cut to the reporters. The mayor then thanks Vincent Ludwig.

Mayor: "This time I would like to express my gratitude to Mr. Vincent Ludwig, chairman of the Queens reception committee. Mr. Ludwig has worked tirelessly, taking off time from his busy scedule as one of the citys most respected business man."

TV: 23 sec


[00:13:48][00:14:30]

After the reporter asks if additional police protection will be hired for the Queen, it cuts to the Mayor saying that the eyes of the world will be on Los Angeles.

Mayor: "Because the eyes of the world will be on the city of Los Angeles during the coming week."

TV: 6 sec


[00:14:46][00:15:33]

Theatrical Version shows Frank going to the bathroom. He can be heard over the loudspeakers while he is urinating. People look in amazement.

The TV version instead just shows an alternate shot of Frank going into the bathroom.

Theatrical Version: 23 sec.
TV: 7 sec.


[00:15:29][00:15:59]

After showing the family in front of the TV, the Theatrical Version cuts to Frank taking a leak. He wobbles back and forth.

Theatrical Version: 3 sec


[00:15:47][00:16:15]

Missing from the TV version is the end of Frank's scene in the restroom. The mayor sits down in her seat in despair.

In the TV version, all of Frank's fart noises were also removed.

Theatrical Version: 8 sec


[00:16:50][00:17:10]

After Frank says to the foreman that he has some questions, he shows him the picture of Nordberg in the Theatrical Version.

In the TV version, more dialogue follows between the two. The foreman justifies himself to Frank for various other offenses.

Foreman: "Hey look I already told the cops everything. I swear to god the girl was 18, what's a guy to do?"
Frank: "No, no, I'm not here about that."
Foreman: "Oh, you guys still harp about my condo across from the boys academy. Look, I told you I was bird watching."
Frank: "No, it's about the body."
Foreman: "I didn't know she was dead. Looked like she was sleeping."
Frank: "No, no, it's something else. Are you familiar with that face?"

Theatrical Version: 2 sec
TV: 18 sec.

[00:17:17][00:17:53]

In the Theatrical Version, Frank takes the dockworker to task. He tells him that Nordberg worked for Ludwig. Frank wants to go to Ludwig. The two pass bills back and forth to each other to answer questions.
Frank: "A you, snivelling scum, I ought to run you in right now."
Vorarbeiter: "All right, all right, he worked at Ludwig's Shipping. He tried to push something at my boys. I swear it. So what are you gonna do about it, copper?"
Frank: "Why should I tell you?"
Vorarbeiter: "Maybe this'll help?"
Frank: "I still don't think I should tell you."
Vorarbeiter: "Can you spot me a twenty? How about now?"
Frank: "Alright, I'm going down to Ludwig's office. I'll find out if you're telling the truth."

In the TV version, the scene is longer and includes alternate footage.

Frank: "A you, snivelling scum, you're not better than your old man."
Foreman: "My old man is dead."
Frank: "I'm sorry, Johnny, I forgot."
Foreman: "Maybe this will help you refresh your memory a little."
Frank: "A yeah, he's dead. Now where were we?"
Foreman: "I don't remember."
Frank: "Maybe this will help."
Foreman: "A yeah, Nordberg, he was dealing H."
Frank: "A you, snivelling scum, I ought to run you in right now."
Foreman: "All right, all right, he worked for Ludwig's Shipping. He tried to push something at my boys. I swear it. So what are you gonna do about it, copper?"
Frank: "Why should I tell you?"
Foreman: "Maybe this is the reason."
Frank: "I still don't think I should tell you."
Foreman: "Can you spot me a twenty? How about now?"
Frank: "Alright, I'm going down to Ludwig's office. I'll find out if you're telling the truth."
Foreman: "Hey, don't you want the address?"
Frank: "Not on a cops salary."

Theatrical Version: 20 sec
TV: 48 sec.


[00:22:38][00:22:38]

When Jane gets the stuffed beaver from attic, Frank's sentence was changed.

Theatrical Version:

Frank: "Nice beaver."

TV version:

Frank: "Nice one."

No time difference.


[00:31:52][00:32:55]

After Frank learns that Lieutenant Drebin is believed to have sent the police officer home from Nordberg's door, the scene continues in the TV version.

Frank: "Call police squad. Tell them that 411 is in progress."
Nurse: "411? Oh, my god. Fire!"
Frank: "No, no, 1411."
Nurse: "1411? Oh, my god, a poisned catholic."
Frank: "No, no, 1414."

The nurse screams and jumps out the window.

TV: 19 sec