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Family Guy Vol. 6 [Unrated]

Bruce Lee: His Greatest Hits

Girl Blood Sport

Brutal Massacre: A Comedy

Enter the Fat Dragon

Family Guy

6.05 Lois Kills Stewie


  • TV Version
  • DVD Version
Release: Mar 29, 2011 - Author: Muck47 - Translator: DaxRider123 - external link: IMDB - more from this series
Comparison between the TV Version and the extended DVD Version (both included in the DVD Box "Volume 6").

7 new/extended scenes (2 of them with alternative footage)

Difference: 264 sec (= 4:24 min)

Family Guy is a very successful show aired on FOX. Since some jokes are simply too rude to air them on national television, the producers have to censor/cut scenes from time to time. However, they sometimes also cut some jokes away in order to reach the appropiate length for a TV-episode. Therefore, not all the changes that were made are a result of censorship. Nevertheless there still are enough hilarious, outrageous jokes in the show - fans will be in for a good time, weven when watching the TV Version on FOX. (I'm speaking from experience.)

BTW, it airs every sunday evening on FOX. That's really nice because you can also watch the new American Dad episode as well as the new episode of The Cleveland Show. So you've got a terrific triple feature. If you're watching FOX anyway, you can also watch the latest Simpsons episode. After all, what's better than spent your whole evening laughing your ass of while watching the latest episodes of the series by Seth MacFarlane plus some new adventures of Homer & Co?

The TV Version of the 5th episode of the 6th season - "Lois Kills Stewie (2)" - misses out on roughly 4.5 minutes of footage - that's a record for the series so far.
As opposed to the first part ("Stewie Kills Lois"), episode 5 does not only include cuts due to censorship (e.g. the masturbation gag with Rob Schneider or the long new musical scene with Stewie). Several scenes were cut out in order to reach the traditional length of 22 minutes per episode.
Stewie's new song alone - where he makes fun of several famous persons as well as others who just annoy him - is worth checking out the DVD Version of this episode.

Time index refers to the TV Version.

The scene inside the courthouse is a little longer. Joe apologizes for any inconvenience.

Joe: "Hobey, radio for backup."
Hobey looks at his cell phone and mumbles: "Uhm, hello?"
Voice: "This is dispatch, go ahead."
Hobey (stammering): "Uh, we need, uhm, more cars, uhm, 'cause we're, uhm-uh, trying, uhm, to find..."
Joe stops him and they go; "All right, we'll do it on the way. We'll do it on the way!"

18 sec


In the TV Version you don't see the cops paying Magic Johnson a visit.

Magic opens the door and immediately says: "Uh-oh. The police. Looks like I got some explaining to do. No, but how could I help you, Officer?"
Joe shows him a picture of Stewie; "We're looking for this baby, have you seen him?"
Magic: "I'm looking for Kareem under the hoop. Have you seen him? No, but I'll let you know if I see anything."

21.2 sec

Alternative Footage / Auditory Censorship

When Peter starts the rumor about Rob Schneider, the TV Version shows a more harmless variant of his dialogue about what he pays migrant workers for.

TV: "...and choke him in the shower."
DVD: "...and choke him while he masturbates in the shower."

DVD Version 1 sec longer

TV VersionDVD Version


After Peter and Lois changed their bodies (thanks to one of Stewie's weapons) and Peter had some fun touching Lois' brest, the DVD Version shows an additional scene of Meg and Chris.

After saying "What does this do?" meg tries something and suddenly she's beamed to a huge water basin.
Scotty: "Admiral, there be whales here!"

(A reference to the movie "Star Trek IV")

9.7 sec


In the TV Version Stewie and Brian are already in the right room while in the DVD Version you see the first ever "American Dad"-crossover scene where they also talk about Peter's rumor again.

Stewie: "Well, this isn't quite right, is it?"
You see that they're inside a bathroom. Stan Smith just comes out of one of the cabins.
Stan: "Hello, gentlemen. Great day to be protecting freedom, wouldn't you say?"
Stewie (sounding put on): "Yeah, US of freakin' A. We're number one. Space shuttle and all that."
Stan (laughs): "Terrific."
Stan's Boss Bullock enters the room.
Bullock: "Hello, Smith. How are you today?"
Stan: "Fine, sir. What's new?"
Bullock: "Do you know what I heard this morning? Apparently, Rob Schneider goes down to Home Depot..."
Stan continues the sentence while Stewie and Brian slowly leave the room.
Stan: "...and pays the migrant workers to come home and choke him while he masturbates in the shower. Yeah, he's been doing that for years."
Bullock: "Sick bastard."

Then the two of them go along the hallway and enter another room after Stewie opened it with his keycard.

34.5 sec


In the DVD Version Stewie annunciates a different principle: "Henceforth, sexual intercourse is illegal. It is gross and disgusting and punishable by death."
Then follows a cut to Quagmire who's sitting in his apartment. He's bathed in sweat and trembling.
Quagmire: "Origami keeps my hands busy and my mind off sex. There we go. I made a swan. Stewie's a good leader."
The camera pans back and you see that Quagmire's room is full of origami.
Quagmire (haggardly wincing): "I wonder how many of these swans I can fit in my bum."
Cut back to Stewie: "In addition..."

The next law (if you want to drink milk you have to suck it out of Hilary Swank's breasts) can also be seen in the TV Version.

21 sec

Alternative Footage

After Peter was pelted with apples, the DVD Version cuts to a long new musical number of Stewie.
In return, only the TV Version shows a short statement that closes Stewie's announcement of the new laws.


Stewie: "And finally, anyone who uses the terms 'irregardless', 'a whole 'nother' or 'all of a sudden' shall be sent to a work camp."


Stewie: "Now, I have no doubt that perhaps there may exist some mild discontent amongst some of you about the recent changes I have implemented. Lest you be considering any sort of uprising, I warn you I am quite prepared to make an example of any undesirable elements. And don't think I don't know who you are!"

He goes to the front side of his desk and starts to sing:
"As someday it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list, I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground
And who never would be missed, who never would be missed."

Now they cut to a scene that fits to the lyrics:
"There's the white kid with the baggy clothes whose talking like he's black,
The girl you date who doesn't get the jokes in 'Caddyshack',
The Asian guy who cuts in front of every single line,
And Britney Spears for accidentally showing her vagine,
And Bill O'Reilly's ineffective dermatologist.
They none of them be missed, they none of them be missed."

The guys from Secret Service sing the chorus:
"He's got them on the list,
He's got them on the list,
And they none of them be missed,
They none of them be missed."

Stewie continues:
"There's the guy behind the news reporter waving like a fool,
And Senator Bill Frist, I've got him on the list.
And the fat kid smiling warmly while he's peeing in the pool.
He never would be missed, he never would be missed.

There's the foul-smelling boy who comes to school in camouflage,
And every bleeding member of the cast of 'Entourage',
And while we're on the subject, HBO deserves a whack
For ending The Sopranos with a fucking cut to black!
And guys who when you shake their hand just bump you with their fist.
I don't think they'd be missed. I'm sure they'd not be missed."

Again, the guys from Secret Service sing the chorus:
"He's got them on the list,
He's got them on the list,
And they none of them be missed,
They none of them be missed."

Stewie continues:
"There's the guy who sits beside you and keeps farting on the plane
And Shakira's lyricist. I've got him on the list.
And the smarty on Thanksgiving who says, 'It's the trip-toe-fane!'
He never would be missed, he never would be missed.

There's the blonde who tells you loudly with a voice just like a knife"
(with an assumed voice) "You know, someone should do a sitcom based around my life!"
(with his normal voice) "The guy who watched 'The Simpsons' back in 1994
And won't admit the damn thing isn't funny anymore."

Stewie and the Secret Service guys sing together while he's busy with the globe:
"And anyone
And everyone...
Who ever...
Made me pissed!"

The Secret Service guys repeat:
"Made me pissed!
Made me really really pissed!"

Stewie and the guys from the Secret Servie sing the chorus a few times while the men jump into the water half-naked. Stewie jumps in between them.

All in all, the DVD Version is 158.6 sec longer.