On February 17th 2012, 20th Century Fox released This Means War to US cinemas. In this movie, two CIA agents, FDR Foster (Chris Pine) and Tuck Henson (Tom Hardy) fall in love with the same woman.
After a failed mission in Hongkong, during which the brother of the wanted criminal Heinriche (Til Schweiger) was killed, both of them are transferred to office duty. They both get to know the charming Lauren Scott (Reese Witherspoon). When they find out that they have become rivals, they transform it into a competition. Of course, it is not only fought with fair methods. In the meantime, Heinrich has come to America in order to avenge his brother's death...
Just in time for the release of the movie, director McG announced an upcoming Director's Cut which was supposed to include scenes with sexual content that had to be removed for the PG-13 rating.
It has become a common phenomenom that Director's Cuts are only released on Blu-ray, which also is the case here. Since May 22th it can be bought in US shops.
A direct comparison of the two versions identifies the Director's Cut as a bluff package. The only "sexual" content is a harmless intro in a James Bond style. The most of the additional running time consists of the 'fake family scene', in which Tuck Henson pays a few actors to play his family in order to impress Lauren (5 min. 13 sec.). The bad word 'fuck' can be heard twice in this scene, however, it is doubtful that this was the reason it was removed from the movie. It rather slows the movie, which is already losing speed at that point, down even more.
This is a comparison between the Theatrical Version, taken from the US DVD (PG-13) and the Extended Cut, available on the US Blu-ray (Unrated).
PG-13 Theatrical Version: 91:28 min. NTSC (incl. ending credits)
Unrated Extended Cut: 98:50 min. NTSC (incl. ending credits)
7 minutes and 22 seconds are missing in 4 shots.
These consist of:
1 extended scene: 18 seconds
3 additional scenes: 7 minutes and 4 seconds
Extended scene in the Director’s Cut:
The action scenes in the opening sequence are being interrupted by still frames and text overlays. This makes the scene longer by 18 seconds.
Additional scene in the Unrated:
The intro in a Maurice Binder style is missing.
Additional scene in the Director’s Cut:
A chat between FDR and Tuck in the CIA head quarters is missing.
1 min. and 1 sec.
FDR: "Tuck, I gotta talk to you about Nana's"
Tuck: "Sure. Whose car are we taking tonight?"
FDR: "I don't think it's gonna work out tonight."
Tuck: "You don't want me there?"
FDR: "It's not that. It's... I invited Lauren."
Tuck: "Oh, wow. Uh... It's a nice move, isn't it? Meet the family. What are you, Garry Kasparov?"
FDR: "It's not like that. Lauren's been asking about them, and you know Nana. Once she heard I was dating someone, she got excited. She wanted to meet them."
Tuck: "I don't believe this."
FDR: "What? This is not a play to one-up you. They're my family."
Tuck: "Yeah, but they're my family too."
FDR: "Yeah, but they're my actual family."
Tuck: "Wow. Yeah. Ahem. Of course they are. How silly of me."
Additional scene in the Director’s Cut:
Tuck wants to impress Lauren and have a meeting with his 'family'. Because he only has an ex-wife and a son, he tells his colleague Boyles to hire a few actors to present the perfect family.
5 min. and 13 sec.
Tuck: "Okay, so he want's to play family, so we'll play families. We can play families. Right?"
Boyles: "All right. Uh, yeah."
Tuck: "Good, let's play families."
Boyles: "I don't know what tat means."
Tuck: "It means get me a family"
Tuck: "Right, so you got your aliasses. Back stories. Charming anecdotes. Yeah? Great. Grandma, if you could pull out a few tears when you're telling that story of how I rescued the blind children from the well, there's an extra 50 in it for you. Right. Ladies, mental gents, I shall see you at 1300 hours."
Tuck: "I am so glad you could make it on short notice."
Lauren: "Yeah, I'm happy to be here."
Tuck: "And they are going to absolutely love you, and you will love them."
Lauren: "I'm excited."
Tuck: "So am I. God, you look gorgeous. They should be here. I'm going to give them a ring. You mind?"
Lauren: "Oh, not at all."
Tuck meets Lauren in a restaurant. Everything seems to be going well, but when his actors arrive they are being arrested by CIA agents and replaced by different ones.
The whole thing is FDR’s doing. He watches the situation in his small observation room.
FDR: "Here we go boys. Here we go."
Tuck calls his colleague Boyles in order to find out what is happening.
Man: "There she is."
Lauren: "How are you?"
Man: "Good. You?"
Tuck: "...Supposed to be here three minutes ago."
Boyles: "I don't understand. They should be there."
Tuck: "Yeah, well, they're not, are they?"
Boyles: "Okay, let me find out what happened."
During the phone call, the fake family enters the restaurant. Tuck has no other choice than to smile about everything happening. FDR watches the situation from afar.
Man: "Ha, ha. So, finally. Right?"
Tuck: "Oh, bollocks."
Man: "So has he told you?"
Man: "How he got his name. 'Tuck'"
Lauren: "No, he didn't."
Man: "Oh, not his given name. Not at all. 'Tuck'. Unusual, right?"
Lauren: "Yeah. Yeah."
Woman: "Oh, here he is."
Lauren: "Hi. Your dad was just telling me how you got your nickname."
Man: "Hello, son."
Tuck: "Hello, Dad."
Tuck: "How are...? Unh... Unh... Unh. Oh, my good..."
Woman: "Mm... mm."
Tuck: "Jolly good. Right."
Man: "Right, we're just getting to it. Old Tuckers comes down one day. I don't know, he's 10 or 11, wearing a dress. Hikes it up and goes, 'Oh, look. I've got me naughty bits tucked under.'"
Woman: "Hence, 'Tuck'."
Man: "'I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me' What's wrong with this boy?"
Woman: "But it doesn't matter because, like, we're just proud that Tuck is into girls again."
Woman: "Because for a while it was all Egyptian men."
Man: "Yeah. 'Oh, gotta have it coming and going. Please.' Whoo-woo. Choo-choo train. 'Come on, boys, have it at it. It's the navy.'"
Tuck: "Ahem. I think we should order."
The chat continues until Lauren cannot take it anymore and leaves.
Woman: "Lauren, Tuck really is, like, a really great brother."
Lauren: "He is."
Woman: "He saved me from becoming a swinger. Before Tuck stepped in, everyone in our village used to call me 'The sausage Wallet'. 'TSW'. That's a Shakespearean term for slut."
FDR: "Where did you find her?"
Man: "So, what's going on with your bits up top? Heard they're weren't real. They look real to me."
Woman: "Tuck said they were fakes."
Tuck: "I did not. I wouldn't say..."
Man: "'These knockers. Oh! Can't wait to get into them.'"
Tuck: "I wouldn't say that."
Man: "You did. Why you lying now?"
Woman: "Yeah, but they look quite nice. Not as big as these bazookas, but..."
Tuck: "Wait, is there a waiter?"Lauren: "You know what, actually, I forgot I have a commitment at work. It's been very nice meeting you all, but I have to go."
Man: "You want something to go, then?"
Lauren: "No, thank you."
Woman: "Wait, can I get your cell number?"
Tuck folgt ihr und versucht zu erklären.
FDR: "Bring up six."
Tuck: "Sorry about that."
Lauren: "That was the weirdest five minutes of my life."
Tuck: "I'm so sorry. Those people back there, they are not my parents."
Lauren: "What are you talking about?"
Tuck: "They're not my parents."
Lauren: "Those are not your parents?"
Tuck: "No. I wanted you to think that I had a perfect family, so I hired some people."
Lauren: "You hired people?"
Lauren: "You hired what kind of people?"
Tuck: "Actors. Actors."
Lauren: "Okay Tuck, this is just bizarre. I don't know what to say about that."
Tuck: "I don't have any parents. I have no family."
Tuck: "I thought it would impress you. Okay? That's why I hired some, because i thought that was normal. I thought..."
Lauren: "But you have a family. You have a son."
Tuck: "Yeah. Okay, the truth about Joe is that my relationship with Joe is really awful. It's really awful. When he was a little boy, it was great. He was a puppy. He loved me to bits. Then he grew up, now I can't reach him. He doesn't want anything to do with me, at all. Okay? So I didn't want you to see that. It's actually very embarassing. So I thought I'd hire a family, because I thought that was normal. Right, look, I totally understand you needing to walk away because if I were you, I'd walk away too. But I think... I needed to level with..."
Lauren: "It's just I was really looking forward to today. It's just been a lot, and I think I should go."
Tuck: "Lauren, I really want to get you home safe. Okay, so Joe's is just on the way. Let me pick him up, and then I'll drop you straight off after."
Tuck: "Thank you."