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Telephone (Long Version)

artist: Lady Gaga


  • UK Version
  • Uncensored
Release: Aug 20, 2015 - Author: Redeemer - Translator: DaxRider123
Hello, hello, baby,
you called I can't hear a thing.

The fact that you don't hear a thing is either the result of no mobile reception OR British censors.

This is a comparison between the
long version on (9:23) and the
usual long version that can be found all over the internet (9:32).
By the way, the FSF rated the latter version okay for 12-year-olds (also during the day), despite a socioethic disorientation as well as favoring and supporting violence. It soon gets clear that they talk about the uncensred version, since they describe a scene that is not included in the censored version.

The reason for this report is the fact that we accidentally came across the censored version while watching UK TV. Unfortunately it is not easy to get one's hands on it. Apparently, people on the internet do not like cut, retouched and beeped music videos. The UK TV Version corresponds to this Version in all retouchings that are described in this report if they are included at all. Also, the beginning is shortened.

Since there are only alternative scenes, retouchings, and censored lyrics, there is no difference in time, however, the MTV Video starts 4 seconds later and misses out on the copyright note at the end (5 seconds).

The images are listed as follows: censored version on the left, uncensored version on the right. All time designations refer to the uncensored version which leads to the difference in time of 4 seconds (as was just mentioned).
Censored audio in the background: "Hey, over here, bitch!"
"Bitch" was deleted.

Censored audio in the background: "Bitch!"
The word was deleted.

In the censored version, Lady Gaga is brought to the "Prison for B#?/7&es", which in the uncensored version is called "Prison for Bitches".

Censored audio: "We make you swim out of here in your own blood, bitch."
"Bitch" was deleted.

Censored audio in the background: "Over here, bitch!"
Again, "Bitch" was deleted.

Censored audio: „Yo, bitch!“
Again, "bitch" was deleted.

The censored version shows Lady Gaga from behind, while the uncensored version shows her from the front. However, the sequence is pixelated in both versions. The following shot (keepers leave) starts a little earlier, while the uncensored version shows Lady Gaga a little longer.

Subsequently there is some morecensorship: A keeper says "I told you she didn't have a dick." The last word was deleted.

In the uncensored version, Lady Gaga touches the other person's crotch. IN the censored version she instead strokes the person's leg. Also, the mobile's logo was retouched.

Again the mobile logo.

It's hardly hearable, but apparently the letter "t" is missing during the sentence "...any shit in here."

The woman in the white tanktop calls the woman on the right side "Bitch!" before smacking her in the face.

Again vice versa.

„Kick! That! Bitch!“
At this point the word "Bitch" was censored.

The mobile phone again.

There are quick cuts back and forth from the back of the laptop (showing the logos of hp and Beats by Dre) as well as the name of the "dating website" (PlentyOfFish) - all logos were deleted.
However, the logos were not retouched on the front side of the laptop.
Due to the quick cuts, here is the best recognizable shot from both versions:

"Love is like a mirror. You can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that motherfucker's reflection."
It should be clear which word was deleted.

Since there was only one producer of instant picture cameras somce the year 1986 everyone should still be able to tell who manufactured the camera.

A small comment about the Diner scene: The subtitles were censored in both versions. Miracle Whip and Wonder Classic White are shown uncensored.

Oh yea. At this point they thought it was way too realistic that UK teenagers might travel to the world of "Dune" to get some Meta-Cyanid, then grab some Fex-M3 from "Star Wars" and finally travel to "Command and Conquer" to mine some Tiberium only to then mix some poision out of it. For this reason they censored the recipe. Makes a lot of sense. Also, the heading "Cook'n'Kill" misses out on the word "Kill". Thus they made sure that if someone mixes an ounce of something with half an ounce of whatever, half an ounce of who-knows-what and 1 cup of deleted, they at least have no clue what to do with it.

Both versions got beeped at "Fucker" during the sentence "I knew you take all my money, you selfish motherfucker."

The newsreader says: "Police are on the search for two women said to be fleeing the szene of crime in a Pussy Wagon."
The words "in a Pussy Wagon" were taken out.

There is some unintelligible talking over the polcie radio. The only thing you can hear is "Pussy Wagon", however, this was taken out of the censored version.

By the way: The words „Pussy Wagon“ are not censored on the car.