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Uncle Sam

Child's Play 3

True Romance

Child's Play 2



You Don't Mess With The Zohan


  • Theatrical version
  • Unrated version
Release: Dec 10, 2008 - Author: Muck47 - Translator: enemy - external link: IMDB
Comparison between the theatrical version (PG-13) and the unrated version, both represented by the US-DVD's of Sony Pictures.

- Theatrical version (TV): 106:09 min without end credits (112:42 min with end credits) in NTSC
- Unrated version (UV): 110:15 min without end credits (116:48 min with end credits) in NTSC

- 28 changes, including 18x alternate material
- Difference: 245,5 sec (= 4:06 min)

The movie

Adam Sandler plays the title character, an Israeli super agent who doesn't see a meaning in the endless conflict and instead wants to go to New York to make his dream come true - working as a hairdresser.
Of course his nemesis, John Turturro as a Palestinian top terrorist, gets wind of this.

Unfortunately the movie takes this pretty off-key basic idea and then focuses on showing the sexual abilities of Zohan to the elderly female clientele. The political potential for conflict and the numerous very interesting supporting roles/cameo appearences are put off with corny and petty jokes which are often repeated spiritlessly. Since Judd Apatow was one of the writers one could have expected more.

But of course everyone should judge this for himself but that's not even the point here. Reason for this report is the fact that this comedy is of course released in two versions so customers could basically be ripped off with a double purchase.

The extended version

This version has been released simultaneously with the theatrical cut in the US on October 7th 2008.
This unrated version contains a few more ribald scenes but over-all the new material isn't worth mentioning. Anybody who didn't like the movie in it's theatrical run won't change his mind.

Time specifications are organized like this:
Theatrical version in NTSC (Unrated version in NTSC)
19:53 (19:53-20:10)

We see Zohan standing at the glass door. He steps back, takes his bag and dances away happily.

Additionally in the UV there's a French rap song playing here in in the seconds following which doesn't play in the TV.

16,6 sec

Alternate material
20:06-20:07 (20:23-20:32)

First the UV has a short additional scene, then both versions show unspectacular alternating material shortly.

Zohan walks through the door into a room. A man comes out the door behind him with his underpants in his hands, saying "Hey, you forgot these."
Zohan answers "Those are for you, my friend" und der Mann schaut die Hose nochmal verwirrt an.

The following two shots of Zohan and the crowd differ in both versions and different parts of the shots have been used respectively.
The third one starts a lot earlier as it does in the TV.

Theatrical versionUnrated version

Unrated is 8 sec longer

Alternate material
21:20-21:26 (21:45-22:29)

In the TV we only see Zohan walk toward the camera.

In the UV he comes out of the building and puts on his spy goggles. With it he spots the clerk and the display also shows further information (e.g. "Profile: Bitchy Bitchy").
He takes the goggles off in a different shot than in the TV - then we see a man only dressed in his underpants dancing on the sidewalk.
To make a fast leave Zohan just jumps onto a car and rides on it for a while, some shots are in slow motion.
He also combs his hair during the ride. As he spots Michael lying on the side of the street with his bicycle Zohan jumps off the car.

Unrated is 38,2 sec longer

Alternate material
25:33-25:36 (26:36-26:40)

The TV shows only one shot of Michael opening the door yelling "Oh my God!".

The UV has a few more frames of him in the hallway followed by an alternate shot of him opening the door. Before he yells his line we already see Zohan with Micheal's mother.

Unrated is 0,8 sec longer

Alternate material
25:36-25:39 (26:40-26:42)

We see Michael a little longer in the TV, then we cut to Zohan and Michael's mother, not moving and asking what's wrong.

However the UV shows an alternate shot of the bed with the both in it still continuing what they've been doing unbothered.

Theatrical version is 1 sec longer

Theatrical versionUnrated version

Alternate material
25:41-25:43 (26:44-26:49)

Theatrical version:

Zohan explaines: "Michael, I needed to thank her for the matzo ball soup."

Unrated version:

Zohan is still moving and says: "I know it's your mother. She's very beautiful. Michael, I haven't made sticky in two days."

Unrated is 3,2 sec longer

Theatrical versionUnrated version

Alternate material
26:03-26:07 (27:09-27:15)

The TV shows Zohan walking over to Michael followed by a shot over his shoulder.

In the UV he's closer to begin with and the follwoing shot starts earlier but the Particularity here is that he's saying "Me sexing your mother".

Unrated is 1,8 sec longer

Theatrical versionUnrated version

26:38 (27:46-27:47)

In the UV Michael's mother steps through the door a little later.

0,8 sec

Alternate material
26:42-26:44 (27:51-27:58)

In the TV Zohan puls up his arms and sings "Disco, Disco!" as we see him from behind.

In the UV Zohan and Michael's mother try to get him to go out together.

Zohan: "Yes, you need your penachim to take a swim."
Michael's mother: "Yeah, a little chicken of the sea. It wouldn't hurt."
Then we see Zohan dancing earlier from the front.

Unrated is 5,8 sec longer

Audio track alteration
26:50-26:52 (28:04-28:06)

Hier a sentence on the audiotrack has been altered, the picture material is the same.

In the TV is goes "I have your mother one more time...", in the UV "I do your mother one more time..."

Image for orientation:

27:08 (28:22-28:39)

Zohan asks: "How many times a day do you make sticky? Two? Five? Twelve?"
Michael: "How many times a day? I've had sex once in my life. It was at tennis camp. It was awful."
Zohan: "You're too picky, Michael. Maybe that's the problem. Every weed in the desert is still a flower."

17,1 sec

Audio track alteration
27:08-27:09 (28:39-28:40)

Another different remark by Zohan as he points to the dance floor.

In the TV it goes "Check out that plus girl. She's beautiful", in the UV "Look at this. This a big one, eh?"

Image for orientation:

Alternate material
27:09-27:18 (28:40-28:59)

In the UV Zohan and Michael are senn a few insignificant frames longer. Then there's an alternate shot of the overweight dancer as well as more profane comments by Zohan.

Theatrical version:

We see them dance shortly, then Michale says: "Big."
Zohan explaines: "You're too picky, Michael. Every weed in the desert is still a flower."
Michael looks down again.

Unrated version:

Alternate take, the woman dances more wildly.
Zohan comments: "But look at the tits. These will bounce nice for you. Your mother, she has huge poopeh. I mean, very wide. But what I see are two big, strong legs wrapped around my head, squeezing."

Unrated is 9,8 sec longer

28:41 (30:22-30:33)

Oori admiringly says to Zohan: "The way you took out Abdullah Meda in '94. And when you made Melami Benazir eat his own shit in '97. I can't believe I'm meeting you, man."

11 sec

Alternate material
29:28-29:33 (31:20-31:29)

The TV shows Zohan in a profile shot as he sayas "No, no, no, I like hair!".
The shot prior to that is one second longer than in the UV.

In the UV Oori adds: "A great warrior, but also a fagala with the penachim" followed by Zohan's remark in a different shot.

Unrated is 3,9 sec longer

Alternate material
53:27-53:29 (55:23-55:27)

After the woman coiffed by Claude left the store the conversation is held differently.

Theatrical version:

Zohan: "This redhead you just cut is beautiful."
Claude, rather apathetic: "Yeah."
Zohan: "So did you make sticky with her?"

Unrated version:

Zohan, the first words are audible during the previous shot: "I like this, the red hair. I bet she has a pumpkin patch down below, yes?"
Claude: "I don't know."
Zohan: "Did you tap her tuchus?

Unrated is 1,8 sec longer

Theatrical versionUnrated version

Alternate material
54:28-54:29 (56:26-56:29)

In the TV the shot simply has been extended in the end as both of them look to the side.

The UV shows us a close-up of the both of them massaging the shoulders of the customer (Mrs. Haynes) with their manhoods. Zohan gives the order "Same rhythm!"

Unrated is 2 sec longer

Theatrical versionUnrated version

Alternate material
54:32-54:34 (56:32-56:38)

In the TV we see a close-up of what's going on. Zohan says: "The Mrs. Haynes sandwich."

In the UV he tells Claude: "Oh, you're pushing harder. It's starting to feel good on my end."

Unrated is 3,8 sec longer

Theatrical versionUnrated version

Alternate material
62:50-62:55 (64:54-64:59)

The UV offers the jucier choice of words as Zohan compliments Mrs. Greenhouse.

Theatrical version: "An angel with the flexibility of a circus freak."
Unrated version: "An angel with a magic throat."

With the words "Oh, scrappy!" she softly slaps his cheek in two alternate shots.

Theatrical version is 0,5 sec longer

Theatrical versionUnrated version

Alternate material
65:22-65:27 (67:26-67:31)

Here just a word has been changed but there's also use of two alternate shots and the third one starts explicitly earlier in the UV.

Theatrical version: "Of course it's possible, man. All the beauties in the world and he falls for Palestinian muffich."
Unrated version: "Of course it's possible, man. All the beaverim in the world and he falls for Palestinian muffich."

At the same time the first shot is much longer in the TV and we see Zohan longer after that as well.
However the UV shows the third shot earlier because Oori gestures with his hands in the beginning.

Unrated is 0,5 sec longer

Theatrical versionUnrated version

Alternate material
65:48-65:50 (67:52-67:57)

The TV remains longer in a shot of Michael's mom approaching Zohan.

In the UV we cut to Zohan earlier before Michael's mom advices: "Listen to your hog."

Unrated is 3 sec longer

76:15 (78:22-78:39)

Only the UV shows how Zohan and Oori start going over to arguing people.

Zohan: "This is where I find them. But I don't know if it's same people who try to Neosporin salon."
Oori: "But you caught them writing this crap, so, what do you do?"
Zohan starts to walk and Oori says in an upbeat tone: "You don't mess with the Zohan!"
Zohan: "Check it."
Oori: "Disco."
Zohan: "Disco."
Oori: "Good."
Zohan: "Good."

16,7 sec

79:55 (82:19-83:07)

Only in the UV Salim doesn't talk woth Phantom before having another "Phantom Muchentuchen" restaurant employee on the phone.
During this they don't talk in English and subtitles are used respectively but probably it isn't a serious language they use.

The employee answers: "Hello. Phantom Muchentuchen."
Salim: "Yes. I want speak Phantom."
Employee: "What say? No English."
Salim mutters "Iidiot" and continues: "Want speak to Phantom."
Employee: "No, no, no. Phantom not here. Phantom Muchentuchen."
Salim: "Yeah, yeah, I know. But Phantom no come? But what about for poonibaba?"
Employee: "No, no, poonibaba at store on 3rd and Lachalta."
Salim: "Oh, okay. So you have number for store?"
Employee: "You call information."
Salim angrily: "You don't have number for other store?"
Employee: "It's somewhere. I don't know."
Salim: "Come on, get number! I calling from America, fry bitch! I very important."
One of his colleagues says: "Salim, the kids."
Salim: "When she is grown up she will understand!"

48,3 sec

88:33 (91:45-91:57)

During the montage we see how the guys of Oori's "Going Out Of Business" electronics store equip themselves with lots of weapons.

11,8 sec

Alternate material
90:08-90:16 (93:32-93:40)

In the TV we see Mariah Carey a bit longer before the camera slowly pans past Salim and his guys.

The UV cuts to the guys earlier and in an alternate shot, the pan is a little faster and shows more people in the left side of the frame.

no time difference

Theatrical versionUnrated version

Alternate material
92:21-92:28 (95:45-96:28)

In the UV there's more blabber before Michael calls. Before that a few alternate takes were used to maintain continuity.

Theatrical version:

The shot of spinning in a circle is a little longer, then we see a frontal shot of Phantom.
During this we hear Phantom say: "I was going to kill you tomorrow...but I guess jackass can't wait to die for real."

Unrated version:

Phantom says the same thing here but in alternate shots.
Then Mariah asks: "Do y'all want us to leave? Because we can go."
Suddenly the guys are protesting; "No, no, no, no...Almost done. Give it a few seconds."
Zohan: "I came here to the States to stop the fighting...but I guess this will never end, eh?"
Phantom ridicules him: "Oh, Zohan does not want to fight anymore. Scared of bees, huh?"
Zohan: "Now I'm afraid of the bees? I'm afraid of the bees? What? You're the one that brings up the bees."
Mariah and her people watch confused.
Phantom: "Your hair. Your hair does not do you justice."
Zohan: "You don't like this hair? I think you're alone on this one. Everyone else going crazy for it."
Phantom: "I like the 'fro better."

Unrated is 36,4 sec longer

92:59 (96:59-97:02)

After Phantom asked Mariah to add him on MySpace her assistant comments: "Sure, as Huge Boner. We'll add you tomorrow."

3,2 sec

Alternate material
99:39-99:44 (103:42-103:50)

Walbridge gives a different message to the terrorists over the phone.

Theatrical version: "We're drawing them in, like a hungry homo to the back of a hot dog factory."
Unrated version: "We're drawing them closer, like a fat queer to a dick sandwich."

Unrated is 2,5 sec longer

Theatrical versionUnrated version