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Sixteen Candles

Rasputin: The Mad Monk


Comebacks, The


  • Theatrical Version
  • Unrated Version
Release: Jul 13, 2008 - Author: Muck47 - Translator: enemy - external link: IMDB
- Theatrical version: 83:46 min without end credits (87:50 min with end credits) in NTSC

- Unrated: 102:49 min without end credits (106:54 min with end credits) in NTSC

- 104 changes, including:
* 55x alternate material
* 8x material only included in the theatrical version
* 5 recuts
* 2 sound changes
It is intentionally spoken of changes- not cuts. Some longer, completely recut or here and there extended scenes have been summarized to one change. If counted differently one might count more differences.

- Difference: 1142,6 sec (= 19:03 min)

Comparison between the theatrical version and the unrated version, both represented through the RC1-DVD’s by 20th Century Fox.

The movie

Tom Brady who has also been responsible for the 2002 Rob Schneider film „The Hot Chick“ was set to follow the many pointless toilet humor parodies like „Date/Epic Movie“ or „Meet The Spartans“ and make big bucks with his spoof of the sportmovie genre. This time the plan did not work out, the movie bombed at the box-office.

A few laughs may be included in Brady’s story about loser-coach Lambeau Fields (David Koechner) who’s supposed to lead a group of mixed college kids to victory on the football field but the comedy is not better than mediocre.

The extended version

...really delivers the goods. As the running time difference of almost 20 minutes implies the parallel to the theatrical version released „unrated“ DVD introduces a lot of new material. This also includes much of more or rather less sensible alternate material which turned the comparison into a challenging task. Some changes may have been made due to the PG-13 rating but there are also a lot of different sequences and recuts which simply give the impression of a Director’s Cut or an entire alternate cut. By the way, director Brady only recorded a commentary track for the unrated version.

Anyway, the two versions differ heavily. Which version is to be prefered can’t be said universally. On the one hand there are many scenes which had to be trimmed for the PG-13 rating, as well as the one or other joke which makes the unrated version interesting. On the other hand this version sometimes just is overlong. One gets the feeling to watch a dull string of different parody attempts.
Time specifications refer to the US-DVD of the theatrical cut (in NTSC)

Alternate material

After the remarked directed towards Zidane which has been subtitled with "Your momma is a CHAIN-SMOKING HAG and a TERRORIST!" there's a different comment by Coach Fields (David Koechner) who looks into his dictionary.

"I don't remember saying 'terrorist'."

"I don't remember saying 'chain-smoking'."

Unrated is 1 sec longer



The off-screen comment "His job was to help facilitate the continuation of the noble Seabiscuit lineage" has been preponed a little bit, in exchange the unrated version sets in a bit earlier after the close-up of putting on the gloves.

2,2 sec

Alternate material

First of all it needs to be said that the unrated version offers more off-screen comments after the sentence listed in the cut above – it's about the job of the coach.
"It was about helping out Mother Nature. To draw forth the building blocks of the champion D.N.A. Which- Aw, hell. He was yanking off horses."
The unrated version shows the Coach doing this job from a little more distance thus we see more of his hand motions on the animal. The conversation between Fields and Freddie Wiseman (Carl Weathers) continues identical but the shots are different.


- The shot that shows Fields from the back is a little longer
- A short close-up of Fields
- Freddie talks in close-up about college but seems a little irritated by the work of his conversational partner
- Another close-up of Fields


- We earlier cut to Fields who touches the horse and grimaces.
- Another short shot of Fields from the back how he's working on the horse while an embarrassed Freddie looks to the side in background
- Again Fields from a little distance, we see his hands moving
- Another shot from back; as Freddie is talking Fields is doing some more hand motions

Unrated is 7 sec longer


Alternate material

Another shot of Fields doing hand motions in the unrated version. The theatrical cut shows Freddie in a close-up.
Furthermore he says what now is written in italic: "Listen, Coach...You and me we've been through wars together, right? And no matter what anybody says, I mean, you're one of the best leaders ever."

Unrated is 4,8 sec longer


Alternate material

This shot is a little longer in the end. Fields pushes the horse's hoof aside.

We cut earlier to Freddie who looks embarrased, then cut back to Fields who longer struggles with the horse's hoof.

Unrated 5,7 is sec longer


Alternate material

After Coach Fields' sentence "That'd be something, wouldn't it?" the theatrical version only has the short answer of his wife ("Come on.") before he continues talking.

In the unrated version Fields is seen slightly longer before his wife's answer starts a little earlier.
"Oh, come on! Coaching is a Fields family tradition. Like cockfighting or identity theft."
Than Coach Fields says: "That's true."

(Unrated images only)

Unrated is 11,4 sec longer


Prior to the hearing of (Coach Fields' daughter) the unrated version has a little joke as well as a special transition to the trial – the new shot "slides" into frame from the left and covers the shot of Fields' wife.
Fields then puts his arm around the punk girl in the court room and says: "Don't worry, sweetie. We're gonna get through this."
His wife says: "Honey, that's not Michelle."
Surprised he pulls his arm back. His wife points to the front.

13 sec

Alternate material

The charges differ in both versions. The two shots are similar but run a bit longer in the unrated version.

"You have been charged with naked jumping jacks"

"You have been charged with property damage, robbery, arson, indecent exposure and being an insatiable cock tease."

6,6 sec


Alternate material

The shot of the judge starts a little earlier in the theatrical cut. In exchange the unrated version shows Michelle a little longer hence it is six frames longer.

Unrated is 0,2 sec longer


Alternate material

The theatrical cut shows how Michelle yells "No!! after the judge's verdict.

In the unrated cut Michelle yells off screen and the shot of the judge is longer in the end.
Michelle then asks "Why would you do this to me?" followed by a shot of the judge with transition to a flashback which explains this.
The judge is on the phone on her patio in a both robe, smoking: "Hey, Tommy B. Yeah, Lawdog here. Listen, I wanna put 50 grand on the US womens gymnastic team to win the gold in Beijing. Thanks, buddy."
After she hung up she takes the newspaper from the ground, opens it and reads the headline: "Superstar Michelle Fields quits Gymnastics Team".
She mutters: "Oh shit" and the next transition shows her back in the court room, stating: "I have my reasons."

Unrated is 20,1 sec longer


Prior to the shot of the street the unrated version has a shot of Coach Fields singing in the car.
Off-screen comment: "They settled in Plainfolk, Texas. A sleepy little town, so cozy that it didn't even have a traffic light."
Then, right after the Fields family has passed a car crash happens.

16,8 sec

Alternate material

After the bird's eye view of the football field the speech of the coach has been extended. In the theatrical version the next shot starts a bit earlier whereas the beginning of the sentence spoken in that shot is presented in a different take in the unrated version.

Prior to that the unrated shows the following:
Shot of the coach: "Hope you're ready for the worst six weeks of your life. I'm gonna do things to your bodies that are cruel, painful and unnatural."
While speaking the last three words we see three of the tough looking team players. Then we cut back to the coach in a different shot: "I'm gonna ride your ass day and night."
A shot of the players: "I'm gonna make you bleed from places that you've never bled from before."
Back to the coach: "It's gonna hurt bad. It's gonna hurt deep."
Shot of two tough guys: "Then it's gonna start to feel good." They nod.
The coach off screen, the look on the player's faces change: "Then it's gonna hurt again."
Coach Fields pauses briefly and then speaks the sentence that comes at the beginning of the following shot in the theatrical cut: "Now, I need to get this team down to a 32-Man roster"

Unrated is 38,6 sec longer

Alternate material

The unrated shows more of IPod humping coach Fields' leg.


Coach Fields finishes the sentence "But he is not a retard" on screen followed by a quick shot of Buddy. Then there's a shot of Fields while IPod works his leg.


Buddy is seen a little earlier. In exchange the following shot starts earlier so we so more of IPod on the leg of the coach.

no time difference



In the unrated version IPod stands up straight and grins at the players. Then Fields asks him: "How'd you like to be my assistant?"
IPOd looks around puzzled and then goes back down to hump the leg. Buddy notices that.
Fields says: "Let this be a lesson for all of you. You judge not, lest ye be judged. It's time someone gives this man a chance."

19,4 sec

Alternate material
Alternate rejection of candidate Vince.


Coach Fields is seen a little longer as he says " your list of woes". He then gives Vince the violine and in another shot he commands: "Go on, beat it!"


As Fields says the sentence we already see Vince. The there’s a shot of the coach saying "Now beat it, buzzkill!". He hands Vince the voiline. Then we see the coach again who's making a "Get outta here"-gesture with his thumb.

Unrated is 1,9 sec longer


Additional material in the theatrical version

Here the theatrical cut has a slightly longer shot of the players on the field.

+ 0,4 sec


After the remark "I'll steam up your wiener and stick it between my buns" we see grinning Randy again in the unrated version. The following shot of him taking a hot dog out of his helmet starts a little earlier.

2,1 sec

Alternate material

Unnecessary alteration: in the unrated version the first shot of the hot dog exchange is a little shorter in the end, the second shot is a little longer. In the theatrical version it's vice versa.

no time difference

Alternate material

Oddly there's a different shot of the clouds. In the unrated cut the filter is missing and the shot is closer.

no time difference


Sound alteration
A different person provides the off-screen voice of the cloud during the entire "Field Of Dreams" spoof. It sounds a little more rough in the unrated cut.

Alternate material

Again the same alternate shot of the cloud followed by the same shot of the coach in both versions. The spoken phrase is more offensive though.

"That damn Google Maps! Anyway, the quarterback you're looking for is out on the baseball field."

"Fucking MapQuest. I've got to get G.P.S. Anyway, I know a quarterback. His name is Lance Truman. You'll find his ass on the baseball field."

Unrated is 1,4 sec longer

Alternate material

The unrated version has a longer shot of Fields followed by an alternate shot of Lance raising the bat.
The bold written phrase does not appear off screen in this shot as well as the seconds before and after: "In my lap, and there's just something about the hot steam against my knuckleballs that really, you know... Just makes old Charlie hustle. Yeah, that kind of wood."

Unrated is 2,5 sec longer



Coach Fields says: "Thought for a second you were talking about cock." as Lance walks off.

3,4 sec

Alternate material

The theatrical cut shows an extreme close-up of Lance's eyes. In the unrated version we see him chewing in a more distant shot.

no time difference


Alternate material

The theatrical version shows Lance spitting in extreme close-up. The unrated version shows him spitting in a more distant shot.

no time difference



Lance grabs his crotch one more time.

0,7 sec

Alternate material

The theatrical cut shows a close-up of coach Fields holding the bat. In the unrated version the camera is more distant.

no time difference


Alternate material

As the camera shows Lance the shots have been exchanged similarly.

no time difference


Additional material in the theatrical version

The theatrical version has a longer shot of the ball in Fields' hand.

+ 0,5 sec


Here comes the "fireball-flying-across-the-screen"-transition in the theatrical cut. The unrated version has a shot of Lance's father staggering out of his trailer. Then the transition follows.

4,1 sec

Alternate material

The speech by coach Fileds had been trimmed a bit. The theatrical version intercuts to Aseel earlier (in the unrated he won't be seen until the word "lawsuits").
The bold part is missing in the theatrical cut: "When I walk in that locker room, I want to smell reefer. I want phone calls in the middle of the night to bail you horn dogs out of jail. I want felonies, lawsuits..."

Unrated is 5 sec longer


Alternate material

The only girl welcoming Michelle with a nice comment justifies herself differently in the unrated version. In-between are different shots of the blonde girl. In the theatrical version she's laughing at first whereas in the unrated version she looks grossed out from the start. Aside from that only the unrated version shows few frames of Michelle's march after the intercut. Those frames are repeated again shortly a little later.

"I mean...I would like to choke her." - Blondes Mädchen zu sehen, die Schwarzhaarige fährt fort - "With my tongue!"

"I mean...I would like to smother her." - Blondes Mädchen zu sehen, die Schwarzhaarige fährt fort - "With my breasts!"

no time difference



After Trotter drove off with Michelle there's Lance in the unrated version, turning around with the towel and saying "Some guys have all the luck".
As he says this Randx dives out of the laundry car, lustful exclaiming "Oh yeah!" as he's sniffing on underwear.

12,4 sec


Prior to Lance and Buddy Boy Jones being shown Coach Fields says "I was a fullback. Short-Yardage specialist for the Loserville Golden Oafers".
6,8 sec


The football going across the screen serves as a transition to another speech of coach Fields in the theatrical cut.

In the unrated version the football enters frame on the other side (right). Afterwards we see the team standing outside a window. Fields is cleaning it. The guys are looking inside, drooling, as wee see several half-naked girls walking around in the shower room inside. As the notice they're being watched they all leave quickly. One girl gives the guys the finger.

14,5 sec

Alternate material

First of all the unrated version shows how Randy is shot one more time. Then the shot of him laying in the ground is a different one.
While he simply falls over in the theatrical cut in the unrated version he lifts his head up and asks: "Did I dodge it?"

Unrated is 1,7 sec longer


Additional material in the theatrical version

Only the theatrical cut shows coach Fields asking "You ready to play?" after saying "We're finally a team". The rest of the shot is the same in the unrated version.

+ 1,2 sec


This shot continues in the unrated version. Randy tries to talk the coach into bringing him along.
"Oh, come on Coach. I'll give you a rim job. I work down at the car wash on the weekends. I'll have your wheels sparkling in no time."
As this goes on there are intercuts to Aseel and Buddy and then back to coach Fields and Randy who demonstrates everything with a sponge.
Coach Fields: "Car wash. Right. Sometimes I think I might have a dirty mind."

16,6 sec


First of all coach Fields is seen a few frames longer in the unrated cut. Then the others pick on him for the first time.
"But if you think you can try using unconventional training methods and crazy game plans..."
The left guy shakes his head and coach Fileds looks at them, intimidated. Another guy shakes his head while looking morose at the coach.
Then the two guys from the beginning burst into laughter: "We support that 100 percent!"
The others join in and the hard-to-understand guy says: "we're right behind you!" Then there's a shot of the relieved coach.
16,8 sec


The wishing luck appears off screen while a shot of coach Fields is seen in the theatrical cut. In the unrated it’s on screen and the shot of the guys is longer.

A little laughter before one of the guys offers Fields coffee. He takes it skeptically.
As the coffee is poured the sheriff (with the hat) says "I'd be honored if you held my gun" and hands Fields his weapon.
The others encourage him. As Fields gets easier with the gun the others step back and say: "Heh, Hey, shooter!"
One of them says "Use that to stir it" and as Fields will lay down the gun he gets pushed down by the sheriff.

24 sec

Alternate material

Coach Fields is seen about one second longer.

Most important to mention is the off-screen comment which is audible from the beginning of the shot and which is completely missing in the theatrical cut.
"And Coach heard their message loud and clear. You see this was a town that loved its football. A brisk Saturday in autumn was like a holiday for these folks. The whole town shut down on game day. Everyone in Heartland, and I mean everyone, was at the game."
This is accompanied with shots of the deserted landscape.The "Welcome to Heartland State Unversity"-sign at the end is longer seen due to the still enduring off-screen comment.

Unrated is 12,7 sec longer

Alternate material

After "They're rock-Hard on offense!" the shot continues in the unrated version. Fields says something else, something more juicy. The theatrical version cuts to Buddy and Jasminder and then continues with a later sentence from that shot.
The words "They've got a stiff defense! They'll exploit any opening they see." are missing. Fields makes a fitting gesture with his fist.
Unrated is 4,8 sec longer



After "They can score all night long" Fields continues with "Any which way they want. You can't lay down or they are really gonna pound us."

7,4 sec

Additional material in the theatrical version

In the theatrical cut the shot of the cheerleader lying on the seats is slightly longer.

+ 0,5 sec

Alternate material

The first shot is a little shorter in the theatrical version compared to the unrated cut. In exchange the next shot starts a little earlier

Unrated is 0,4 sec longer


Alternate material

Same here. In the unrated version the opponent player jumps into frame in the first shot. In exchange the following shot starts later.

Theatrical version is 0,4 sec longer



Another opponent player jumps into the scene. Then after a shot of Jasminder we see a lot of ruckus on the field. The Comebacks are being attacked from everywhere. The rival players already formed a line to jump on them.
The only two watchers (Lance’s father and his company) yell: "This is so humiliating!" – and they also get attacked by several players.
29,6 sec

Alternate material
In the theatrical version the players jump onto coach Fields‘ wife in a different shot. In the unrated cut they do it in the same shot as before. It also takes longer.

Unrated is 1,2 sec longer



A few scenes from the cut at 28:32 have been reintegrated: from the lost ball of Lance to the jumping in line.

+ 13,5 sec


Prior to Fields talking to Aseel the unrated version shows how Fields meets his daughter with her new boyfriend Trotter.

The guys on the bench applaud and yell: "Here comes Trotter!"
Trotter walks up the them very calmly. Fields beefs: "You missed the whole first quarter. Where have you been?"
Trotter: "Get off my back, Coach. I was doing a thing."
Fields‘ daughter appears from behind Trotter and explains: "Me. And remember, Dad, he's black. Black as a Mississippi August night."
Coach Fields: "All right, Trotter. You're on the bench for the rest of the game. If you're ever late again, you're off my squad."
Trotter: "Whatever, Coach. I'm all you got and you know it."
In the meantime Michelle pours water into his golden goblet and hands it to him.
As a transition to Aseel’s appearance Fields says: "I think you're forgetting about someone. The future of this team. And his name is ACL Tear."
(The last words are audible as the following shots of Aseel appear – however the theatrical version introduces Aseel at the end of the prior shot with the words "ACL Tear, I need you out there now!" ein.)

Unrated is 34,4 sec longer

Alternate material

Lance’s dad leaves differently.

He says "This conversation is over!" and walks off in the same shot

Closer shot of him saying "This conversation is over!", short intercut on Lance (as in shots before and after that). He then turns around saying "Come on, loser! You can kiss my ass!" as he points at his butt.
Unrated is 3,6 sec longer


Alternate material

The sentence of Fields‘ wife differs very slightly and insignificantly at the beginning. She then talks more in the unrated version which leads to coach Fields extending his answer in the beginning.

"You have sat in here night after night, forgetting about me and everything that's important to you."

"You have sat in here night after night, forgetting about me and everything that matters to you. Ignoring us is-Is something that you've never been able to resist, like a make-Your-Own-Taco bar or midget wrestling."

Unrated is 10,6 sec longer


Alternate material

In the unrated version coach Fields looks at different preparation material. His wife questions his methods differently.

"I just don't see how watching girls in their panties play football makes you a better coach."

"I just don't see how watching man-on-man-porn makes you a better coach."

Theatrical version is 2,2 sec longer


Alternate material

Fields‘ wife leaving is different in both versions.

She just turns around and leaves.

Shot from more distance as she says in a high-pitched, sniveling voice: "Why does it have to be so hard core?"
As she walks away coach Fields says: "Once again, my method!"

Unrated is 4,2 sec longer



The exterior shot as Michelle enters the trailer of Lance is slighly longer.

0,8 sec

Alternate material

In the unrated cut we see exactly what vhs tapes michelle is giving to Lance.

The shots ends exactly after the phrase "I'm supposed to give you these" and we cut to the football with the tapes in the foreground. Michelle asks him instantly. The following shot of Lance pulling the ball up to his head starts a little earlier compared to the unrated version.

The shot continues and both of them look at the covers of the tapes.
Lance reads: "The Gridiron Gangbang. The Bad News Bare Asses. The Longest Nards."
Shot of the tapes. Then both say synchronized "His method."
Now the close-up of the football but it’s a different one, without the tapes appearing in the foreground. In this shot Lance starts to lift the ball up.

Unrated is 15,2 sec longer


There’s more footage of the father during Lance’s childhood flashback. In the theatrical cut we cut to the dance as soon as little Lance left the frame.

The shot continues and we see his father saying "Hey, look out for the tr-". We hear the impact off screen. Then his father says: "Ahh, Don't worry about it. They're baby teeth. You'll grow new ones."

We then see Lance’s 12th birhtday. His father opens one of the giant cans on the table and says: "Happy 12th birthday, Lance. There you go. Drink up."
He then empties his own can and goes down with the words "Let's get out of here. Let's go to a bar or something."

In the end the shot of the dance starts a little earlier.

31,3 sec

Sound alteration
In the unrated cut Lance dances to a slow song without vocals.


Longer shot of the two of them dancing and more talking from Lance as Michelle takes the football out of his hands.

"The thing is, it's all my fault. I got a great arm, but I keep dropping the ball. I always have. I mean, I don't know how to fix it. See?"

15,2 sec


The shot of Michelle starts earlier. She sighs before she says "Oh, you think so?"

1,2 sec


The flashback to Michelle's childhood starts with an additional scene. Coach Fields holds her as a baby. She's wearing a football suit.
He says "Mom, go long. Go long!" and pretends to throw her.
The following scene starts a little earlier.

8,4 sec


In the unrated version Fields high-fives again with his young daughter.
The next shot in the car starts insignificantly earlier after the transistion.

4 sec


This shot has been extended in the end. Coach Fields says: "Game over!"

4,8 sec

Alternate material

In the theatrical cut he scene after the phrase "Nothing in this world could bring this team together" runs as a whole and dramatic music starts with it.
The unrated version includes a scene from the sportscaster box. Someone puts in a tape and the sound starts to roll. We then cut back to Jorge but it's an alternate shot. He's looking down to the ground at the end of the shot.

Unrated is 2,8 sec longer


Alternate material

In the theatrical cut IPod dances around longer before the next frame enters from above.
The unrated version shows two players in women's clothes. The next frame appears after a clever transition in the mid-section of the screen.

no time difference


Alternate material

For the first five seconds the theatrical version shows different material on the left and right of the screen whereas the unrated version simply shows one shot but reversed.
After that the screen center shows different material.

no time difference


Alternate material

This time the unrated starts later with the new material on the sides. The center is identical to the theatrical cut.
After that the unrated version shows a lot more of several shots whereas IPod appears instantly on the entire screen and the music stops in the theatrical cut.
The unrated version ends with IPod as well but it's a slightly different shot.
Furthermore only in the unrated cut Coach Fields appears after that in the sportscaster box, saying: "And the booster club laughed at me when I demanded a smoke machine and laser lights for the locker room."



Unrated 25,7 sec länger


After the cheering of coach Fields the theatrical cut misses a shot of the team from the ground. One of them steps on the camera.

2,1 sec


Grabing the crotch for communication is slighlty longer in the unrated cut.

0,3 sec


Prior to seeing the scoreboard we see a short speech (not audible).
Then Fields waves at the crowd and we see the reactions of people who threatened him before in case of defeat.
Everyone of them looks at him, gesturing madly and Fields gets it: "Yeah, I get it. You're gonna kill me."
The bearded one makes a fisting gesture and Fields, imitating it, askes: "Wha-What's this part?"
The sheriff friendly explains: "Oh, that means he's gonna fist you too."

18,2 sec


In the theatrical cut the party follows instantly. The speech in the locker room and the conversation with Randy are missing.

Jasminder hits one of the guys with a towel, saying "Whoo, you like that, you big baby, don't you?", a second is hit as well.
Coach Fields enters applauding and says: "Heck of a job out there today!"
In a closer shot he adds: "Except for Randy. You had no part in the victory. You added nothing."
Randy says: "Coach, can I play in the next game? I'll toss your salad."
Coach Fields: "Please tell me you're gonna start chopping up lettuce and tomatoes."
Randy: "I'll salute your flagpole."
Fields: "Please tell me you're a patriot."
Randy: "I'll pack your fudge."
Fields: "Please tell me you're a confectioner's assistant."
Randy, grinning: "Oh, no. I really meant I was gonna pack your fudge and toss your salad."
Fields surpressed the urge to throw up and continues talking to the rest: "All right, listen. I want you all to go out and celebrate. Tear it up. Explore your bodies. Lather up your nethers, get 'em wet, sticky. Shave it. Go out and get yourself a venereal disease, whatever it is you kids are into these days."
Three of the players look puzzled.
Fields: "All right, get in here. S.T.D.'s on three. One, two, three."
Alle stimmen in der Mitte stehend ein: "S.T.D.'s!"

70,1 sec

Additional material in the theatrical version

The theatrical cut shows Aseel slightly longer.

+ 0,3 sec

Alternate material

After Lance entered through the door the scene differs.


He instantly sits down next to Michelle and says "Michelle, I'm just gonna be honest."


Different shot of Michelle at the desk. She takes something out of the drawer.
Lance: "What's that?"
Michelle: "I'm writing my local congressman because I'm worried about the rapidly decaying future of Social Security."
Lance: "During a party? Why?"
Michelle: "Because everyone's labeled me rebellious, so I'm rebelling against the rebellious label by being conscientious in rebellion. Duh."

Unrated is 17,8 sec longer

Alternate material

In the unrated version Michelle talking about her and Lance being together is more juicy.


After "some wine" we cut to the grinning Lance and we hear Michelle say: "We'd lay out on a blanket and do it. And do it, and do it, and do it and do it."
Lance sadly bites his lip and the following shot of Michelle starts a little earlier in the theatrical cut. We already see her saying the words "We'd do it every day".


The shot continues and Michelle says: "We'd lay out on a blanket and ball. And ball, ball, ball, ball, ball."
During the last "ball" we see the confused Lance from a different perspective.
Michelle again: "We'd do it over and over for hours and hours. And I would ride you so hard you wouldn't be able to walk for weeks."
Lance shakes his head sadly and we hear Michelle say "We'd do it every day".

Unrated is 9 sec longer


Alternate material

As Michelle says "And different positions" the theatrical cut cuts to the more and more appalled Lance whereas the shot xontinues in the unrated version.

no time difference


Alternate material
Here the unrated version reintegrates the shot of Lance with his eyes widened from the prior cut. The theatrical cut shows an alternate shot.

(Images only from the theatrical cut)

Unrated is 0,4 sec longer

Alternate material

In the theatrical version we cut to Michelle while Lance says "Especially the doing it part", in the unrated cut the shot continues and he says "Especially the balling part."

Unrated is 0,7 sec longer



Fields yells at the players because the study in the room next to the party (reading Shakespeare etc. for their exams).

Fields: "You all signed a contract. What are you trying to do? Ruin your season before it even begins, huh?"
Jasminder: "No, Coach. We're simply trying to keep up our G.P.A.S."
Fields: "Oh, is that what you call it? Mm-Hmm. You make me sick, all of you."
There’s a shot of sad IPod and Buddy

17,9 sec

Alternate material

In the theatrical cut we see Lance and Jasminder while we hear the words "would have the gumption to do this on your own", in the unrated version the shot of Fields continues as a whole and he has more lines.
"But, apparently, I'm gonna have to take you by the friggin' hand. You won a football game!"
While this is going on we shortly cut to Lance and Jasminder. Other than in the theatrical cut they only look straight ahead.

8,8 sec


Alternate material
After Fields emptied the can we briefly cut to Buddy and Jorge in the theatrical version. The Unmrated presents only one steady shot. Then there’s a much more explicit "Party/Drugs"-excess of Fields.


After the shot of Randy and Jorgewe see Fields taking a little bottle of the woman on the right and opening it; "You should be popping some pills!"
Short shot of the appalled IPod and Buddy.


The shot continues but Fields, while taking the little bottle, says "You should be popping ecstasy, man!"
After he took the pills he washes them down with some beer
He takes a spraypaint can, sprays into a brown bag and inhales from it; "Oh, yeah, and huffin' some paint! What's the color? Good times."
Intercut on the shocked guys before Fields gestures wildly.
Now he says: "Look at me now, man. Yeah, I brought all these illegal drugs to the my fake Louis Vuitton bag that's chock-full of pirated DVDs I got down in Chinatown" and he throws them aat the players. The italic part appears laater in the hteatrical cut as well.
He shouts around: "Who cares, man? I'm just having some fun, because I won a football game. Yeah! I'm a huge drug-pushing drug guy."

Unrated is 39,1 sec longer


In the theatrical cut we only saw shortly how Fileds took a hit from the bong. After that it’s getting a little complicated – in the unrated version some material has been rearranged.


Shot of Lance and Jasminder (with bong-hitting sounds of screen) and Fields‘ appearance from "Look at me now, man!" to "...full of pirated DVDs" where he throws the pirated copies into the crowd.The last phrase about Chinatown isn’t audible anymore. Instead we see Buddy and IPod and cops entering.
After that Fields takes off his shirt, another intercut on Buddy closing his eyes. Then he starts struggling with his pants. Again we see the cops watching this (it’s the only shot thaat is not included in different order in the unrated version so the only image comes from that shot).
The coach says the same things like in the recut unrated version: "Now I'm crazy wasted with a bunch of minors and I'm taking off all my clothes. Yeah, it's cool, man. I'm a football player. That's what we do!"


In the unrated Fields hits the bong longer and passes it to the right out of frame; "Gotta have some more of that."
He takes a small pipe from the left and looks more wasted by the second; "That's the right spot. Now I'm crazy wasted with a bunch of minors and I'm taking off all my clothes."
He does so but (opposed to the theatrical cut) before the cops enter. Intercut on the embarrassed IPod and Buddy (the second shot of them from the theatrical cut).
"Yeah, it's cool, man. I'm a football player. That's what we do!"

As Fields realizes "It's the cops" both versions continue the same way.
Theatrical version is 1,8 sec longer

Alternate material

The hit in the crotch is a whole four frames longer in the end. This is followed by an alternate shot of Fields (which happens to be four frames longer in the theatrical cut).

"Ah, right in the pigskin!"

"Ah! Right in my Reggie Bush!"

no time difference



After the exterior shot of the prison a long scene is missing in the theatrical version. The homosexual theme in prison is parodied and Dennis Rodman makes a cameo appearance (which is party occurring in the theatrical version as well).

We see Fields huddling up to the bars hearing pouncing from behind. He’s muttering words like "Come on! You can do it!"
In a closer shot we see that he and his cellmate are only trying to open the drawer of a small cabinet.
Fields: "I'm sorry, Clint. I couldn't get it unstuck either."
Clint: "Well, thanks for trying. I should just ask for another one, but that piece goes so well with the room."
Fields agrees muttering, then we see a couch on the other end with a garden magazine on it.
Fields: "It does coordinate nicely with those throw pillows."
Flint looks at him a moment and says: "Wanna have sex again?"
Fields, friendly: "No, I'm good."
Cell door opens and Fields looks at three men standing in the dark: "Who are you?"
The one in the middle says: "I'm the warden. You can go free if you beat me in hoops... One on one."
Close-up of Fields, he self-confidently says: "Hoops? Me likey."
Then there's a shot of the men in the dark from more distance. Fields says: "I feel I should warn you. I was the leading scorer of the Jewish community center Bitty-Boy's Basketball League three years straight."
The middle one comes out of the dark and we see it's Dennis Rodman.
Fields: "Well, I think I'm gonna spare you the humiliation and just wait to be bailed out."
He catches his breath as the gate closes. As he turns around Clint's smiling at him and tries again: "Are you sure you don't want to cuddle?"

84,2 sec

Alternate material / recut

In the theatrical cut a part of the scenes from the prior cut is rearranged here. In the unrated version Fields messes with the wardens.


Freddie gets up laughing and leaves the frame to the right. This is a transisition to Fields behind bars.
Then there's instantly following Clint who wants to cuddle (fort his see the last two images from the prior cut).
Following this the cell door opens and Rodman makes the offer. However it ends with Fields saying "Me likey" and Rodman doesn't Stepp into the light.


Freddie breaks the fourth wall with his off-screen comment voice: "Freddie decided it was time to go. As for Coach, he had bigger things to worry about."
Shot from an upper angle with other prisoners being in the frame: "Why, just this morning, he banged the wife of the guy sitting next to him."
This guy looks madly at coach Fields and as Freddie gets out of there Fields tries to defend himself: "Come on, Turbo. That's impossible. I'm in here with you."
But Turbo pushes him against the wall. Freddie laughs.
As he takes some strange positions in the fight with Turbo Fields says: "Send a message to the warden. I'll take him up on his little offer. Your interpersonal skills are horrible and you're a terrible gossip. Everybody knows that. People talk about you. You cheat at checkers. Oh, why resist it?"

Unrated is 16,3 sec longer


After the first rebound the unrated cut shows more exaggerated action of Fields.

Fields tries to teach Rodman: "It's called skills, junior. And I guess I got some. Whoa."
We see his legs and he does some tricks. He shows the shoulder trick. Then he goes in circles, supporting himself with one hand. Rodman looks confused as Fields gets of the ground, performs various somersaults and finishes with a slam dunk.
After another fireball effect Rodman says: "Change of rules. Even if you win, you're still gonna stay here."

28,2 sec


Longer shot of Fields walking up to the gate.

1,2 sec

Alternate material

Here both versions show different newspaper articles. In addition to this the unrated cut uses the prior shot of Trotter and the cheerleadersin the background so in the theatrical version the next game occurs a little earlier.

Theatrical version is 0,1 sec longer



After the football baby the next game starts instantly in the theatrical cut. In the unrated version another newspaper article comes flying at the screen followed by a shot of Buddy and Jorge.

4,1 sec

Alternate material

The unrated cut continues with Freddie in the locker room. The theatrical cut shows Trotter tattooing his name on a baby's head (this scene later also appears in the unrated version at 53:46-54:00).

Furthermore only in the unrated cut the prior shot and the shot in the locker room are a little longer and another funny newspaper article appears.

Theatrical version is 2,6 sec longer


Alternate material

In the unrated cut we see Trotter and the cheerleaders on the field. The football decides two of them have to kiss (this scene has been reintegrated in the theatrical version, see next change).
Aside from that the following shot (which also appears in the theatrical cut) of the game in the rain starts a lot later in the unrated version (it starts as the player passes the ref).

Unrated is 5,2 sec longer


Alternate material / recut

Lance dances differently in both versions.
Then the kiss of the two cheerleaders follows in the theatrical cut whereas the unrated version presents Trotter and the baby.
Furthermore the unrated cut continues with another touchdown on the field – everyone cheers. In the last scene the unrated cut also shows the newspaper saying "Comebacks to play in conference championship" which is only illustrated for the theatrical version (where the cheerleaders are on the field).

Unrated is 20,8 sec longer


Alternate material

Prior to coach Fields wife on the bed there's someting else on television. The scene from the theatrical cut is reintegrated later (at the hairdresser's).


The newscaster says (while a picture of Fields is shown in the background):
"Big story developing out of Plainfolk, Texas. Heartland State head coach Lambeau Fields is taking an unusual stance against academic excellence. He has locked his team out of practice all week and now the squad is in danger of forfeiting the upcoming conference championship at the toilet bowl."
During this report the camera pulls out and reveals the TV standing on a chest of drawers.


A different newscast (the comment starts in the last two seconds of the prior shot):
"We all remember that touching story of the autistic high school boy who was finally given his chance to play. This amazing story has inspired people from all different walks of life."
We see the boy doing some tricks. Then we cut to a surgery, comment: "Last night, at Cleveland General Hospital, Dr. Edmund Grand allowed Billy, a longtime orderly, a chance at his dream."
The obviously not totally healthy guy is on screen.
Another caster on the small TV: "Touching story out of Cleveland. Time of death- 8:05."

Unrated is 5,8 sec longer

Alternate material

The lover hesitates longer and gives a different answer to Fields question about where he's from.

PG-13: "I'm from, uh...Making Sweet-Love-To-Your-Wife-Istan."
Unrated: "I'm from, uh...Banging-Your-Wife-Istan."

Unrated is 2,1 sec longer



Long cut. First the newscast from the theatrical version (two cuts above) appears but with a different picture of Fields in the background and on the TV at the hairdresser's of the villagers. Fields enters and talks with them about the separation from his wife. He finds out that all the other guys made sure their wives won't leave them…in a rather radical fashion. Then we see Lance picking the team up with a truck and they drive off to follow the coach's instructions (partying hard etc.).

Fields enters after an exterior shot and a shot of the TV. Everyone looks skeptical.
He sits down while one of them sharpens the knife; "You sure got to have some big clankers to come in here."
Fields: "Go ahead. Do your worst. My wife left me."
The man next to him pokes him sympathetically; "Aw, hell."
Fields: "It's my fault. I forgot she was there. Boys, if you find that perfect gal that has all the little things, and, yet, she's willing to enhance them surgically into bigger things. And she doesn't mind showing them to your friends at a New Year's Eve party, that's a gal."
Agreement from different sides. The sheriff says: "Well, don't take it so hard, poon cheeks. We've all walking in on a loved one getting barn-doored by a half rack of bird doggers."

The guy next to Fields: "Hell, I remember when my Dorothy left me, and I did everything I could to get her back. And when I did, I made sure that she'd never leave me again."
Fields: "How'd you do that?"
Guy: "I treated her like a queen - like an Egyptian queen. Mummified and entombed her in the basement. Her shrieks of help like music to my ears."
Hairdresser: "It's all about communication, fellas. My Jeanie, she used to wag her finger in front of my face and bug the bejesus out of me. But, well, we sat down and when we discussed it in a mature manner and-And-And now sh-She'll never, never wave this finger in front of me again."
He holds up the separated finger of his wife.
The guy with the slight speech disorder starts to talk and walks up to the man whose hair is getting dressed; "Hey, you know what? I'm gonna tell you something. It's about compromise. Now take Salamander here. Now we get up in each other's rifle racks now and again. But then we make up and talk about it. We bangity-boo. Sticky man love, you know what I'm saying, Coach?"
The italic part also appears as subtitles.
Fields thanks them: "Solid advice, fellas. You're good people."

The frustrated team stands in front of the still locked gate
Lance arrives with a pick up truck and says: "It's time to do something we should have done long ago. Get in the back."
The team starts to move cheering. We see Randy huddling underneath Buddy on the back; "I think we're gonna need a bigger truck."

a total of 163,2 sec


In the thatrical cut the fire/football transition appears in Fields' apartment.

The unrated version shows how Fields enters the empty training room and then finds his team in a club partying wildly (which equals his instructions, therefore he compliments them all).

Fields takes out the pipe and asks: "What the hell is going on here?"
Lance approaches him and proudly reports as wee cut to the people he mentions: "Hey, Coach. Buddy Boy smashed a whole 12-Pack over his forehead. I Pod's doing body shots out of his belly button. And Jorge, he's been dancing like this for the past six hours. And Jasminder, she made 300 bucks. And I think that Randy lost his cherry to Gwen Stefani over there."
Buddy passes the contracts: "And our signed contracts."
Fields is overwhelmed: "I have never been so proud of a team in my entire life."
The whole team says together: "Who do you play for? Comebacks!", then the fire/football transition occurs.

Unrated is 71,3 sec longer


Another fire/football transition has been preponed in the theatrical cut while in the unrated version there's additional material coming.

The ref passes judgment including demonstration: "Personal foul. Cock blocking."
The camera pushes in on Fields. Then we see smiling Freddie doing the "fisting" gesture.

Unrated is 11 sec longer

Alternate material

In the theatrical version we see the smiling Freddie after the passing of the GoldCard.

In the unrated cut Fields asks: "That's ridiculous, how much is he paying you?"
The ref answers: "1,000 dollars a call. Twice the going rate. Where is it now?" (while saying this he magically makes the money disappear)

Unrated is 6 sec longer

Additional material in the theatrical version

Only in the theatrical cut Fields looks longer at Freddie and leaves the frame to the front. Freddie also leaves.

+ 3,5 sec


After Lance's touchdown there's a brief shot of the cheering crowd including Lance's father in women's clothes in the unrated cut.

0,8 sec

Alternate material

Barb holds a different picture of Fields. In the theatrical version it's the one of his arrest after the drug trip earlier in the movie.

In the unrated version it's one of him in SM clothing with Barb.
After that only the unrated cut hows Barb in bed, her lover next to her with tears in his eyes saying "Why can't I have that? It's so beautiful".
In the end we see the sobbing sportscaster.

Unrated is 9,4 sec longer


After identical shots of the scoreboard the theatrical cut continues with Randy. The unrated version presents another failed attempt of Aseel Tare.

Fields looks around and Aseel enters: "Hey, Coach! Suppose I can get in the game?"
Randy: "Hey, guys, look who's back."
Aseel: "I'm a quick healer."
Fields: "Hey, gang. The cavalry's arrived. And he goes by the name of..."
Everyone shuts him up and yell his real name, Fields then babbles "Okay, I got it. ACL Tear, get out there. Let's go".
The team approaches the field, only Randy is being held back in the last moment again.
Now Aseel sprints to the front while more and more opponent players tail him. He makes the touchdown but the comment "He's got the entire defense on his back" pretty much nails it.
After a shot of disappointed Freddie we see that Aseel has been torn in two in the heat of the moment. The ref takes the ball out of the his upper part.
We briefly see the shocked crowd as well as Fields and IPod. Then his lower part falls over.
Assel says "No worries! I'm a quick healer, whoo!" and cheers.
Fields seems to be relieved and the sportscaster says in different roles: "John, what we're seeing here is a definite shift in momentum. I mean, we-we really are, Al. I mean, y-You take a look at what's happening And they were down by a lot And now they're not down by as much And-And pretty soon they could erase this deficit."

72,2 sec

Alternate material

Alternate shot of the team while IPod warms up. In the theatrical cut they walk to the front, in the unrated they walk to the back.
The shot from the theatrical cut follows a bit later in the unrated version, see next cut.

no time difference



Before the game continues the shot of the team walking top the front appears in the unrated cut as well as a shot of Fields humping the leg of IPod.

4,3 sec

Additional material in the theatrical cut

Prior to the shot of the crowd the theatrical version presents a shot of the players. The ball is being thrown to the ground.

+ 2 sec


The unrated cut shows coach Fields a whole eight frames earlier.

0,3 sec

Alternate material

In the theatrical version Trotter and Lance pat their backs. In the unrated cut Trotter tells the reporters "My shit goin' to Disney World, baby. Yeah!"

Theatrical version is 2,2 sec longer



In the unrated cut Fields and his wife look at each other tenderly before they kiss.

2,5 sec


In the unrated cut the shot is longer in the beginning and her husband introduces himself: "Name's Gabe Low."

1,8 sec

Additional material in the hteatrical version

The black screen is a little longer.

+ 0,9 sec