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Scary Movie 5


  • Theatrical Version
  • Unrated
Release: Sep 08, 2013 - Author: Mike Lowrey - Translator: Mike Lowrey - external link: IMDB
It took 7 years until the 5th installment of the Scary Movie franchise was produced. The concept of spoofing hit productions from the recent past has not changed. This time, especially Mama, Paranormal Activity, Black Swan and Rise of the Planet of the Apes had to endure the comedic treatment. The cast was changed and former frontrunner Anna Faris has been replaced by Ashley Tisdale, who now has to act as the dumb blonde between all the gags. Many of those are relatively average but the density of ideas that are present in the 73-minute-film makes it inevitable that some of them do actually hit their target. That's probably the positive aspect about the extensive re-shoots that were undertaken after the film's initial shoot was already over. A new director took over and Tisdale said in an interview that almost 60% of the film is based on these re-shoots. However, that couldn't convince the cinemagoers since the 5th part had the lowest US box office of the whole franchise.

The home video release has to make up for it now and so it's no surprise that the same release strategy is applied that the studio used since part 3. The mass-friendly PG-13 version for cinemas and the raunchier Unrated Cut exclusively for later. The alterations that the unrated version introduces are all related to censorship for the PG-13 rating since that can't be too crude or sexualized. In the US, it is only included on the Blu-ray while customers of the DVD have to accept that they only get the theatrical version.

Comparison between the Theatrical Version (PG-13) and the Unrated Cut (both by Anchor Bay).

30 differences, consisting of
19 extended scenes
5 alternate dialogues
3 scenes with alternate material
2 extended scenes with alternate material
1 additional sound effect

The Unrated Cut runs 115.52 sec. or approx. 1 minute 56 seconds longer than the Theatrical Version.
Extended Scene
0:00:39: Lindsay reads another of Charlie's video titles and he has another explanation.

Lindsay: "Me and Brandy, doggy?"
Charlie: "Mhh, the sequel! The nuns adopt a chocolate lab."
4.92 sec.

Extended Scene
0:01:30: Lindsay has something else under the blanket. It's a belt equipped with lots of sex toys. When Charlie asks who put that on her, she replies that she did it herself since that is the only way she could have an orgasm. Charlie's classic answer: "Not tonight.".
13.4 sec.

Extended Scene
0:02:21: The action in bed has a little more resemblance to actual sex in the UR, as Charlie and Lindsay can be seen on top of each other. The PG-13 version ridicules it from the beginning.
7.6 sec.

Extended Scene
0:02:37: Both of them do a handstand and "walk" around the bed and begin earlier with their double flic-flac.
6.04 sec.

Extended Scene
0:03:12: Lindsay's stand-in can be seen sitting on Charlie.
1.16 sec.

Additional sound effect
0:03:37: As Charlie's best part is supposedly on the rise (which is also a little longer in the UR) and circulates under the blanket, the UR features a sound that resembles that of a bending tree branch. That doesn't make that much sense, though, since it turns out to be a cat shortly thereafter. But hey, now we have an audible "wood" joke in the UR. That should count for something, right?
0.76 sec.

Alternate Dialogue
0:05:17: Snoop Dogg (Lion?) is allowed to use a cruder word in the UR.

PG-13: "And how does that help if I get shampoo in my peehole?"
UR: "And how does that help if I get shampoo in my dick hole?"
The Theatrical Version runs 0.2 sec. longer

Alternate Dialogue
0:05:31: As Snoop argues as to why and how soap can get up there, he uses two different approaches:

PG-13: "That's Cam Newton's first law of gravity. Soap don't run uphill."
UR: "Cam Newton's law of gravity is: that thing must be up in order for that soap to go down."
The UR runs 1.2 sec. longer

Extended Scene
0:05:42: Snoop's elaborations are a little longer in the UR:
"Sting like a mother, man, it feel like it's a hornet up in there. And he found out it his girl be, you know, doing her thing with another man."
3.64 sec.

Alternate Dialogue
0:05:54: Again, Snoop uses a different word:

PG-13: "They got 'No More Tears', why they can't make no more hornets in your peehole?"
UR: "They got 'No More Tears', why they can't make no more hornets in your dick?"
The Theatrical Version runs 1.32 sec. longer

Alternate Dialogue
0:05:49: His buddy joins him in this practice:

PG-13: "I don't really think they expect you to use 'no more tears' on your thing."
UR: "I don't really think they expect you to use 'no more tears' on your dick."
The Theatrical Version runs 0.32 sec. longer

Extended Scene
0:15:04: The camera zooms in on the picture with the ambiguous drawing of a rocket.
2.4 sec.

Extended Scene
0:15:08: And again a little longer as Kathy holds the picture.
1.08 sec.

Extended Scene
0:22:51: Well, that's a true UR bonus right there. Kendra shakes her butt for 12 more frames.
0.48 sec.

Extended Scene
0:22:54: Another dance move with spread legs in the UR.
1.36 sec.

Alternate Material
0:22:56: The Theatrical Version has the ballet instructor watch Kendra's performance with a horny expression while the UR has him say something: "An ass that makes you want to crawl inside and take up residence.". Kendra dances a little longer here, as well.
No time difference


Extended Scene
0:22:59: And more booty-shaking.
0.68 sec.

Extended Scene
0:23:01: Further contraction of the gluteus maximus.
0.52 sec.

Extended Scene
0:26:04: After Dan told Kathy that the dildo is a toothbrush, he simulates its usage in the UR and says: "Vibrations knock the tartar off your teeth.". Furthermore, it should be mentioned that the dildo makes a noise in the UR while it is mute in the Theatrical Version.
5.16 sec.

Extended Scene with alternate material
0:26:09: Dan throws the vibrator back into the box. Kathy finds more "toothbrushes" and is euphoric while Dan struggles to curb her enthusiasm. When she finds anal beads and thinks that they are dental floss, Dan takes them away and replies that it is floss for grown-ups.
The UR runs 13.96 sec. longer

Extended Scene
0:26:49: The camera pans to Kathy sitting by the box with the "toothbrushes" and tells Dan: "Uncle Dan, you know, these toothbrushes look an awful lot like dildos.". The grown-ups look puzzled.
6.36 sec.

Alternate Material
0:38:42: Wohl eine sexuelle Anspielung. When Jody asks what "that" is, Dan replies in the UR: "I know, I'm trying.". Probably a sexual hint.
The Theatrical Version runs 0.48 sec. longer

Extended Scene
0:48:15: Christian offers Jody a seat but a dildo elevates from the chair so that Jody prefers to stand.
2.52 sec.

Extended Scene
0:52:23: As the naughty nanny sees Jody and Dan, she thinks that more work is required and says that this costs extra. Viewers of the theatrical version should get what she means but the UR leaves no doubt and lets her say: "Threesome? That costs extra."
0.96 sec.

Extended Scene
0:53:07: Cesar struggles a little longer with the banana under the blanket.
1.72 sec.

Extended Scene
0:54:55: Kendra carries Jody a little more. Whoo, so kinky.
1.68 sec.

Extended Scene with alternate material
0:55:04: In the Theatrical Version, Kendra lies on top of Jody and Jody asks whether she could get pregnant from what they're about to do. Kendra is irritated and says no. The UR is much longer and alternate. Jody bends her legs and Kendra discovers a slip that has a hygiene label on it that doesn't really symbolize that Jody takes good care of herself down there. Jody apologizes and Kendra hangs an air freshener in there before she goes to town. This is followed by a sequence of different persons surfacing at the other end of the bed. Jody herself, Kendra and Jody, Jonathan Goldsmith (who got famous with a meme) saying his line: "I don't always go downtown, but when I do, I drink a beer first.". After that, the DiCaprio copy cheers about being the king of the world, Ted enjoys himself and Tiger Woods asks whether he could play "through there" but has to escape after his wife comes after him with a golf club, enraged about his next extramarital endeavor. Finally, there's Kendra once more and that's it.
The UR runs 38.04 sec. longer

Extended Scene
0:56:02: Jody enjoys a little more passionately in the UR and a woman bites a chunk out of a carpet. (google "carpet munching" if you don't get the reference).
6.16 sec.

Alternate Material
0:56:14: Jody's facial expression is a little more ecstatic in the UR.
The Theatrical Version runs 1.44 sec. longer


Alternate Dialogue
0:57:25: This is probably too raunchy and furthermore connects to a previous UR-only extension. Jody's line about last night with Kendra is different in both versions:

"You're telling me that was your *beep* in my *beep*. I have never been that *beep* (wet) before in my life."
"Oh, and now you're gonna tell me Tiger Woods didn't come out of my vagina?"
The Theatrical Version runs 2.52 sec. longer