Midgets vs. Mascots
Midgets vs. Mascots
The recently deceased midget millionaire and former sports mascot Big Red Bush realized early that there is no big money to be made as a mascot. He therefore decided to try his luck in the porn business and became very successful. His last will is a reflection of his sympathies for both mascots and midgets and rather extraordinary:
A team of five mascots is to compete against five midgets in a series of games, the winner then gets 5 million dollars.
Comparison between the US R-Rated DVD
and the US Unrated DVD
R-Rated: 82:20 min. NTSC (with ending credits)
Unrated: 85:20 min. NTSC (with ending credits)
A total of 3 minutes and 9 seconds
Jimmy O'Doul is giving an interview about Big Red Bush's death.
Jimmy: "Richard was a wonderful philanthropist. Just terrific. He gave generously to our humanitarian fund for the little people of the greater Dallas area As well as to his own inner city school for mascots"
During the casting for the teams a mascot called Bunny
auditions. He says that he should be picked because he would hug the whole team several times a day and also would include them all in his prayers.
Richard: "Do you really talk like that?"
Bunny: "Well, I know a little bit of Spanish."
Richard says that this situation was the worst in his life.
Eddie: "What's second?"
Richard: "The 9th grade father son volleyball competition."
The following dialog between Bonnie and Richard is missing in the R-Rated version:
Bonnie: "Here's to your friend Chase who i banged in your bed last month."
Richard: "Yes. To Chase. Who's been battling Aids for two years now."
A short talk by Deng Mann during breakfast:
Deng Mann: "I know everybody tired, but thing go good so far."
The conversation continues and a few guests leave the restaurant.
Taco: "Midget has been the accepted agreed-upon legal term for the last hundred years. Nigga, on the other hand, has a hateful slant."
Gary: "Hey, easy."
Taco: "Just pearls of wisdom here."
Deng Mann: "Nigga was made to carry all contempt and rejection white man inflict on black man. Black people not actual nigga. No matter how much they call each other nigga."
Taco: "Right, it's an outrage. They're not niggas. Just like they're not coons, shines, tree-swingers, schwartzes, spare chuckers, tar babies those are all awful and despicable and no one should say them..."
Lemone: "... And neither should we. Black people change their proper term almost every decade, they went from Negro, colored, Afro American, black again. Now I think we supposed to call them African African Americans"
Geoffrey tries to create sympathies for small people during an interview, but the camera operator is distracted by two girls.
Geoffrey: "I think it's important to realize our point of view. Recognize little people arent't just entertainers, existing to make others laugh and stuff. We're people too."
Eddie: "For sure, man, for sure."
Geoffrey: "We're no different than you. We have dreams as big as yours. We have feelings. We know when we're being laughed at and not with."
Eddie: "Yeah. That must suck."
Geoffrey: "I've cried myself to sleep many nights. And I hurt. I hurt in extra large."
Eddie: "What are these girls doing?"
Geoffrey: "I was in the toddler section of target and the youngsters there, kids can be so cruel. They'd start laughing and pointing and asking where's Santa."
Eddie: "Mm, that's great."
Geoffrey: "What'd you say?"
Eddie: "I said you're doing great, keep it up."
Geoffrey: "We are just looking for the respect, decency and recognition that we're just like you. Except, you know, smaller. Thank you. How was that? Do you think I had the right sensibility? I want people to get it."
Eddie: "Yeah, dude. They'll defitely get it."
1 min. 26 sec.