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Disaster Movie

Comparison:

  • PG-13
  • Unrated
Release: Feb 13, 2009 - Author: Muck47 - Translator: Victor - external link: IMDB
Comparison between the Theatrical Version (PG-13) and the Unrated Version (from from the respective US-DVD from Lionsgate)


- PG-13: 87:25 min. incl credits in NTSC
- Unrated: 88:28 min. incl. credits in NTSC


- 44 changed scenes, including 23x alternative footage
- Difference: 63 sec (1:03 min)



The film


Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer should be well-known and infamous by now. Date Movie, Fantastic Movie, Meet The Spartans...after the success of the Scary Movie films seemed like a good opportunity to cash in on numerous relatively cheap productions.
Disaster Movie, the newest sorry effort of the both, has literally become a box office disaster, then torn to pieces all over the Internet. Along with various poison spewing video-reviews, the battle for the top rank in the Imdb's Bottom 100 has also been a pleasure.

Oh well, what to say about this one? Those who liked the already mentioned films of the infamous couple will enjoy this movie as well. Anyone else should really stay the hell away from this as far as possible.
Alas, all hope for the return of the good old ZAZ times with classics like The Naked Gun or Hot Shots! has already been buried and everyone has to decide for himself what to make of these cheap copycats.



The Unrated Version


The procedure of releasing an Unrated version for home cinema has become common for comedy films as well. However, most of the time this is only a matter of re-integrating deleted scenes into the film.
Disaster Movie, however, is an actual PG-13 movie that really was censored in order to get this rating - especially the "I'm fucking (Matt Damon)" song at the end where every "fuck" has been removed from the PG-13 version, thus rendering the gag (if one wants to call the regurgitation of a video from the Jimmy Kimmel Show a "gag") completely useless.

All the other changes made have "censored for the PG rating" written all over them as well, new story extensions are nowhere to be found.


The Unrated should be the better choice for anyone interested in this, but don't expect it to make the movie any better.



Time index in the following order:
PG-13 in NTSC speed (Unrated in NTSC speed)
Alternative footage
07:08-07:09 (07:08-07:09)

In the Theatrical Version, Flavor Flav's front is presented a bit longer, so unlike in the Unrated we are spared having to look at his butt.
The last frames of the shot of his leg behind the door is in the PG-13 as well.

Unrated 0,3 sec longer

PG-13Unrated




Alternative footage
13:32-13:37 (13:32-13:36)

As the ball flies towards Dr. Phil, he hits on the girl in different ways.
Only the Unrated presents a closer shot of him falling over, while in the PG-13 the shot remains farther away and also lasts longer.

PG-13: "There's a medical term for what you do to me: Horny."
Unrated: "Let's go back to my hot tub. You can suck on my..."

PG-13 1,9 sec longer

PG-13Unrated




29:19 (29:18-29:20)

Carrie is splattered with Juney's breast milk; Juney asks "Got milk?".

2,6 sec




31:14 (31:15-31:18)

Another shot of the guys, Calvin asking: "What the fuck...?"

2,8 sec




Alternative footage
36:25-36:28 (36:29-36:33)

Different shots of Juney, she also says different lines.

PG-13: "You must be bumming harder than Siegfried after Roy got attacked by that white bengal."
Unrated: "I'd offer you my sexual favors, but I've got a lot of mucus discharge lately."

Unrated 0,9 sec longer

PG-13Unrated




Alternative footage
46:45-46:47 (46:50-46:58)

A few of the princess' sentences have been taken out.

"I'm not referred to on the street as the Cavernous Princess for nothing. A nomenclature well-deserved, most assuredly."

The PG-13 presents an alternative shot of the others, as well as the line "If you've got 5 bucks or some meth..."

Unrated 7 sec longer

PG-13Unrated




46:51 (47:02-47:06)

The princess elaborates on her meeting with the wizard: "His penis kept reappearing in all sorts of different places."

3,9 sec




50:05 (50:20-50:22)

One of the Chipmunks clings onto Will, saying "Chipmunks love nuts!" before biting him.

2,2 sec




50:16 (50:33)

The Chipmunk is seen a few frames earlier.

0,3 sec




50:17 (50:34-50:35)

The shot starts earlier...

0,6 sec




50:18 (50:36-50:37)

...and is also longer in the end, Will smashes the Chipmunk against the wood one more time.

0,9 sec




50:24 (50:43-50:48)

Will trying to get ridd of the Chipmunk with an umbrella.

4,8 sec




50:30 (50:54-50:56)

Will beats the Chipmunks two more times in two additional shots.

1,4 sec




50:36 (51:02)

More nut-biting.

0,3 sec






54:50 (55:16-55:22)

Batman addresses Will regarding his girlfriend: "She must be some piece of pussy."
Will agrees: "She is, sir. She is."
Then a shot of the princess.

6 sec




55:58 (56:30-56:31)

Only in the Unrated Batman gets to finish his line: "Would you want to watch me play with myself?" - before he his pulled off screen.

0,5 sec




56:56 (57:29-57:31)

The shot starts earlier and the princess says: "That was better than sex with a camel."

2 sec




Alternative footage
61:45-61:51 (62:20-62:26)

As we see Beowulf from behind, a different shot has been used in the Unrated, showing his bare butt.

No time difference

PG-13Unrated




Alternative footage
61:53-61:55 (62:28-62:30)

In the PG-13, we see a shot of Amy asking "What?", while the Unrated presents us Beowulf's buttocks again.

PG-13 0,2 sec longer

PG-13Unrated




62:54 (63:29-63:30)

Additional shot of Beowulf jumping into view.

0,4 sec




Alternative footage
63:57-63:59 (64:33-64:37)

The PG-13 shows the princess laughing and saying "It's true".

The Unrated shows alternative shots of the princess along with the added line "And a curious factoid: Pandas actually have three descending testicles."

Unrated 2,8 sec longer

PG-13Unrated




65:54 (66:32)

Beowulf clings to Wills back longer.

0,6 sec




66:11 (66:49-66:50)

Dito.

0,8 sec




Alternative footage
66:12 (66:51-66:53)

The Unrated provides two additional shots of Will with Beowulf on his back.


In exchange, the following shot is longer in the PG-13.


Unrated 1,8 sec longer




Alternative footage
66:15 (66:56-66:57)

The Unrated shows an additional shot while the following shot starts earlier in the PG-13..

Unrated 0,7 sec longer

PG-13Unrated




Alternative footage
67:47-67:48 (68:29-68:35)

Indiana Jones (Tony Cox) elaborates on what went on with Wills mother: "She did this special thing...with her big toe and candle wax..."
Will: "Okay."


Once more, earlier starting of the following shot in the PG-13.


Unrated 5,4 sec longer




Alternative footage
68:29-68:34 (69:16-69:34)

In the PG-13 Indiana says "There is no cure for herpes and I bullshit you not."


Before that, the Unrated shows him saying: "Hell, I got gonorrhea so many times, my Johnson looked like a melted Baby Ruth."
Amy shivers in disgust and he continues: "Hell, in the 70s, my nickname was Chlamydia Jones."

After another shot of Amy and Will, Indiana here too says "There is no cure for herpes and I bullshit you not", Will answers "Thanks, Dad".


Unrated 13 sec longer




71:28 (72:28-72:31)

The shot is longer and the marked words are only uttered in the Unrated:
"And, Will, do you take Amy to be your doughnut of love that you'll fill with cream every day?"

2,7 sec





Alternative footage
72:13-75:22 (73:16-76:25)

In the "parody" on the "I'm fucking Matt Damon"-Song every single "fucking" has been replaced by "dating" in the PG-13. The parts with differing text have been provided with alternative, yet similar footage.

The bold parts display the text from the Unrated while those in italics display the text from the PG-13.



I'm fucking (= dating) Matt Damon.
- You're fucking (= dating) Matt Damon? Well, I'm fucking (= dating) Hannah Montana.
- She's fucking (= dating) Hannah Montana. Backstage at my concert, fucks (= throws) me on my parents' bed. After school, at my locker, in the car I give her head. I'm also fucking (= dating) the Flava.
- Yeah, boy. She's fucking (= dating) Flava-Flav, fool. You know what time it is because I'm fucking (= dating) Juney too.

(The dude yelling "Yeah..." in Flava's direction is the same in both versions.)

PG-13Unrated


- Yeah, I know, but it's true Flava-Flav, he fucks (= dates) me too.
- And I swap with Calvin and he swaps with that dude...
- ...and we're all fucking (= dating) Hellboy!

PG-13Unrated


- Yeah, they're fucking (= dating) Hellboy and I'm fucking (= dating) the Hulk.
- When I get really mad I start fucking (= dating) Iron Man.

The following two shots of Iron Man do not differ; only the text is different - same with the first lines of the princess and her prince.
- A most uncomfortable screw but I fuck (= date) the princess too.
(- Ding Dong.
- Who's that ringing on my bell?)

PG-13Unrated


- The bitch (= chick) who's fucking (= dating) Iron Man. That's I-R-O-N M-A-N and I fuck him in the mouth (= I like his tin can).
- That's fucking (= really) great because I'm fucking (= dating) Wolf.

The first shot of Wolf screaming is identical as well.

PG-13Unrated


- He's (-missing in the PG-13-) fucking (= Dating) Wolf. Ain't that a pity? Because I'm fucking (= dating) those bitches (= broads) from Sex and the City.

The next scream is also identical.

PG-13Unrated


- He fucks (= dates) the Sex and the City gals. So I wondered: Would Wolf really get jealous if he knew we were fucking (= dating) that guy with the big utility belt?
- They're all fucking (= dating) Batman. At Wayne Manor, in the Batcave, Butler Alfred is our love slave. Riddle me this. Holy bathhouse. I'm fucking (= dating) Amy Winehouse?
- He's fucking (= dating) Amy Winehouse. Yeah, on the down-low, low, low. And I'm fucking (= dating) Jessica Simpson 'Cause I'm on blow, blow, blow (= it's how I roll, roll, roll)
- She's fucking (= dating) Jessica Simpson, oh, yeah. And I think I might have fucked (= dated) that hot assassin.
- Everyone's fucked (= dated) me. And I've fucked (= dated) them back, you see. And the Mexican too...

Carmen Electra's last words "...with the tragic hairdo" as well as the first line from the horrible-looking Javier Bardem-Double ("Call it, heads...") are identical.

PG-13Unrated


I'm fucking (= dating) J. T.
- I'm fucking (= dating) that male model 'Cause he's so fine and I like to get up in them Calvin Kleins.

(The last words are shot identically again.)

PG-13Unrated


- It's true, J. T. fucked my ass (= dates me once) again but I'm also fucking (= dating) Prince Caspian.
(Additional shot of the model in the Unrated.)
- I am handsome and I am cool, that's why this prince fucks (= dates) the kids from high school.

(The first lines from the "High School Musical" guys are the same again.)

PG-13Unrated


The PG-13 shows he next shot of two pupils a bit earlier while the Unrated stays with the first shot a bit longer:
- It's time to get fucked (= date)
- Fuck (= Date) me.
- No, fuck (= date) me.
- Fuck (= Date) me.
- He fucks (= dates) all us kids in high school.

Along with the next line ("Under the bleachers, in the showers while we're changing for gym class.") identical shots have been used again.

PG-13Unrated


- I'm fucking (= dating) Oprah.
- I'm fucking (= dating) Obama.
- I'm fucking (= dating) Indiana's ass.
- She's fucking (= dating) Indiana and I'm fucking Hancock.
- He's fucking (= dating) Hancock and I'm fucking Beowulf.
- You know you like it and I'm fucking (= dating) Kung Fu Panda.

PG-13Unrated


Kung Fu Pandas line is different in audio:
"And I'm fucking (= dating) Michael Jackson."
Michael Jacksons shots are the same in both versions.

Different audio from the Chipmunks:
"Oh, yeah, he's fucking (= dating) the Chipmunks. Sad to say, but it's true, he fucks (= dates) the Chipmunks, yeaaah!"


All in all we have 11 differences.

No time difference




The outtakes during the credits have been extended as well.
However, no time difference emerges, for the rest of the credits runs in front of a plain black screen a bit earlier in the PG-13.


78:02 (79:05-79:22)

We see Will looking underneath the woman's dress. Something falls down on him - the woman apologizes and picks it up..
Then Lisa dances towards Calvin, he says: "Oh, okay. You get on it."

* 16,9 sec *




79:03 (80:23-80:44)

Indiana fondling Amy: "Baby, how did you get into it with him. You should be with me."

Then Wolf: "Also, when I make love to a girl, she's also been Wolfed. I don't hit her with a stick, I just have sex with her. Or him. Doesn't matter. Wolf goes both ways, you know what I'm saying?"

* 20,9 sec *




80:12 (81:53-82:07)

The princess again: "You're a talking panda. Come back to my magical kingdom, and I'll show you my talking beaver.

Carrie is splattered with breast milk again: "It just keeps coming. Knock, knock. Who's there? Milk in your mouth."

* 14 sec




81:04 (82:59-83:14)

More of Amy Winehouse, hitting on the Cro-Magnon dude;
"Hang on a bit. You're a bit of stuff, aren't you? Look at you. What are you packing under there? What are you hiding under that? I can see your sausage and biscuits. I love sausage and biscuits."

* 14,8 sec *





Alternative footage
82:45-82:54 (84:55-85:03)

Here the PG-13 shows Lisa dancing towards Calvin. (see "78:02 (79:05-79:22)")

The Unrated, in exchange, presents another take of Dr Phil; "There's a medical term for what you do to me: Horny."

No time difference

PG-13Unrated

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