Suicide Girls Must Die!
Suicide Girls Must Die!
No, this is not the new blood fountain slasher from Japan, in which little girls in school uniforms take out vicious rapists with a lot of red sauce and. The SuicideGirls
) are rather part of the to the alternate porn scene belonging I-Net-Community, where usually women with outward changes like tatts, piercings or outstanding-colored hair upload softcore nudie pictures of themselves. Most of them are contracted models. Editorial textes for music, columns, blogs etc. are also part of the repertoire of the page, many sections and offers are chargable.
According to the statements of the operators, the page SuicideGirls.com has approx. one million different user per week while industrial tracking sites like Domain Tools only has approx. 180,000 per month
. Even in the world wide web, promotionally effective deformed awareness dominates what happens..
Apart from three documentaries SG
has released in the ten existing years of the page, the operators also threaten the world with this awesome masterpiece (keep the irony if you can find it). So here it is, the so-called "First Reality Horror Movie" Suicide Girls Must Die!
. Whereas this is technically nothing but a documentary, in that case about a foto shooting at a lake for a calender which has been integrated in sth. like a "scary movie frame story" (Ouch!)
. Looking at its style, the "movie" can be considered a Blair Witch Projekt
copycat. The movie shows, as soon as you're suicidal enough to really watch that crap, 12 models shot with the accompanying digicams. They're deadling with tough challenges like "What clothes am I supposed to put on?", packing the bags, the arrival, the shootings at the lake and hilarious topless hot tub action. Meanwhile, the audience is waiting for the "scary movie frame story" (D'oh!)
which finally presents by the vanishing of one of the models without a trace here and there. Surprisingly the others barely notice and don't care. At some point, some of the hot chicks try to get help, but any of them screw up in different ways because they're stupid as f... (well, you know :-). When the desaster is almost over and the audience is doesn't have the slightest clue what the flick is really about, at least a reasonable audience might get an idea how it's gonna end: with the much-loved "Happy April Fool's Day!" ending.
To not scar the target group off (malicious tonges claim the flick is still looking for it until the end of time), that's exactly what's going to happen in the last two minutes before the credits start. ("Well folks That's it. Thanks for watching that crap and have a nice day. Bye bye."
, credits, movie is over.) That end does so not suit to the rest of the lousy peace of film that any semi-movie buff is just confused and any average viewer is just flabbergasted while dropping the empty beer and the sticky Kleenex.
From the technical POV, it looks pretty solid. There are lovely shots, harmonious music, a descent editing etc. Even split screens are integrated (maybe too much in the R-Rated Version) and further technical gimmicks are being served to the audience. Regarding the style of the movie, the chicks act natural (more or less) and without clichés. That doesn't count for all movies of the horror genre. But when it finally comes to the horror part )(Ouch!))
, it's gonna get more than just ridiculous and pathetic.
To sum it up, one can say that Suicide Girls Must Die!
should be considered marketing for the continual regressively figures of SuicideGirls.com to get new customers on the hook. Unfortunately the movie is pretty similar to the previous documentations. As a resultof that, the audience's interest is still pretty low.
That's why it's so astonishing and unbelievable that this peace of crap was really shown in some movie theaters in the US, MPAA rating included. For its release on DVD, the R-Rated and the longer Unrated Version (which contains tons of additional and alternate, more detailed nudity scenes) were released. Certainly, that doesn't make it better at all. But that's at least a reason to even watch this crap.
Extended scenes = 9 min 47 sec
Alternate scenes = No difference
The R-Rated Version only contains a couple of splitscreen scenes of the shooting (16 sec)
. The Unrated Version instead takes its time and is more explicit (102 sec)
Joleigh's shooting is similar, but the R-Rated isn't drastically shorter like it is in the before-mentioned scene (40 sec)
. Furthermore there's alternate footage in one of the versions that's not in the other one. Bottom line: the Unrated Version is longer and more explicit again (99 sec)
Now it's about time for Daven's shooting. The R-Rated Version contains a really short splitscreen shot here (12 sec)
, the Unrated Version is more detailed ans explicit again (79 sec)
Same at Mary's shooting. Splitscreen in the R-Rated (16 sec)
, Unrated longer, more explicit plus a different montage (59 sec)
Next one, please. This time it's time for Bully & Roza. R-Rated Version 17 sec
, Unrated Version 186 sec
The shooting continues on the small island. This time it's Fractal's turn, everything's as usual. R-Rated Version 55 sec
, Unrated Version 122 sec
Different shots of Rigel's shooting at the fence during Daven's & Bully's text passages.
The shooting goes on with the well-known differences: R-Rated (7 sec)
, Unrated Version (53 sec)
Similar to the difference at 58:40, the Unrated Version contains alternate footage of Bailey's shooting during Quinn's short text passages.
And another different montage of the shooting. The R-Rated Version is (9 sec)
long, the Unrated Version (38 sec)
While is getting more and mpore desperate on the left, the Unrated Version contains different footage of Bailey's and Amina's shooting again.
Shorter and less spectacular shot of Amina in the R-Rated Fassung (5 sec)
than in the Unrated Version (27 sec)